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“I thought you quit?” I ask her.

Her face is guarded. “I did. I just came to collect my last paycheck. If you don’t mind handing it over?”

How do I tell her I miss my best friend? She’s putting distance between us that doesn’t need to be there, but because I respect her, I let it go. Grabbing her check out of my cabinet, I turn to give it to her to find her right in my face, soft chest right against mine. Gulping, with my voice low, I ask the only question I care about right now. “Will I see you again?”

After a moment, she replies, though her voice is bitter. “I don’t know. You’ve made it clear there can be nothing more than just sex with us,so I don’t see the point.” I don’t bother hiding the hurt from my face. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s trying to make me hurt as much as I’ve hurt her.

Nodding, I lean to kiss her goodbye on the cheek, except we both go the wrong way, and our lips end up touching instead. I freeze because there is no way it could be real. It's all I’ve wanted for so long, even if I’m not allowed to have her. It’s better than anything I could have ever imagined.

Fireworks are going off in my chest, and Amelia runs her hands down my back until she’s grabbing my ass. It's sensual, sexy, and I’m ready to cross the line with her right now. Consequences be damned.

Except the knock at the door has other ideas.

Breaking the kiss, I look at Amelia and if“are you fucking kidding me?” was a facial expression, that would be us right now. She runs her hands through her hair in frustration, and for a moment, it looks like she has more to say but second guesses it.

Silva peaks her head into my office, and her face remains neutral, even after seeing Amelia and I tangled up with each other. I know she’s just doing her job, so I won’t take my frustrations out on her.

At least she sounds a little apologetic, “Luca, your guests are here. The party is starting.”

Silva leaves us alone again, but the moment's over. I sigh. Amelia mumbles something about a huge mistake and rushes out of my office without a backwards glance. And with her, she takes a piece of my heart.

Chapter 13 | White Girl Wasted

Sebastian

From the outside, my life looks incredible, enviable even. I’m sitting in one of the top clubs with access to whatever I want, and I’m friends with the owner. One of the trendiest DJs is here tonight, and he’s playing some of his latest hits. Has it only been days since Jude has gotten home? Even if she was gone for two years, it’s like nothing has changed with the four of us partying it up again like we used to.

My reality, though, is shit. Because I can’t have what I truly want.

According to my mom, I’m a prime example of what a Rogue should be. She brags this to anyone who will listen, even if she tells me how disappointing I am in private. So I’m either being controlled by her, pining for Jude, or killing people for hire. It's not much of a life. Then, you get moments like this in Tao that give me a reason to smile again, even if it's only temporary.

Luca has gone all out for Jude’s party, and I’m impressed at how full the club is. The Supernatural community isn’t huge, but I’m pretty sure almost everyone is here tonight. The waitresses are scrambling to keepeveryone’s drinks flowing even as Satine, one of the waitresses I recognise, places a fresh drink and napkin in front of me. Despite the dimness inside the club, the warm tones of red beaming down from the chandeliers and red neon lights against the walls create a sense of drama. It's such a typical Luca thing to do. Thankfully, we’re cordoned off in the VIP booths, which gives me the perfect vantage of my favorite sight. Jude swaying her hips on the dance floor.

I would be lying if I said I didn't want her. She consumes my every thought. Jude has embraced my darkness, and I know hers in return. I remember the day I told her how hopeless I felt about my life. She took my cheeks in her hands and told me that everyone had a bit of darkness inside them, and that’s why we needed to find small moments to live for, to celebrate life. It’s something I’ve tried to hold on to since then, even if it always feels like I’m failing.

Dom throws his arm around my shoulders and shouts over the thumping music, “How are things, Sebastian? It's been a while since we’ve caught up!” This forces me to take my eyes off Jude, which annoys me more than it should. Dom looks happier than I’ve seen him in a while. Though, I’ve never understood why people want to have heartfelt conversations in a packed nightclub.

Before I can answer, Dom looks down and pats his suit pocket for his phone. Grabbing it, something on it changes his demeanor. “Excuse me, I have to take this. It's business.” He gets up and navigates his way through the packed club and disappears from sight. Turning my attention back to Jude and Luca on the dance floor, I can see they’re still having the time of their lives dancing.

I hated myself for how I ended things with Jude, but I would do it again if I had to because she wasn’t ready to hear the truth back then. She was always so sure that our love could change things, and that it would endure. I couldn’t bear to take that hope away from her, so it was easier to make her hate me instead. Even though Jude knows the truth now, she still doesn’t trust me because if I lied to her once, she believes I could do it again. She made it clear she’s only tolerating my presence because of my mom’s instructions that I should get close to her again.

I would be happy to spend the rest of the evening watching Jude dance, even if from afar, but Luca chooses this moment to approach me and interrupt my musings as she plops down on the velvet couch next to me, Dom still nowhere to be seen. Arms across her chest and her eyebrow raised, she’s not impressed with me. “What are you playing at?”

Luca and I have a complicated relationship. Of course we’re friends, but we disagree on almost everything. The only things we can agree on are our love for Jude and women. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough. Still though,you can count on most of our conversations ending in some form of bickering. Giving her my most irritating smile, I ignore her question and instead respond, “Well done, L; the place looks great. I’m actually enjoying tonight. Shocker, I know.”

Luca swats at my shoulder. “Don’t be a dick. Answer my question now before I beat you up in front of everyone, and we both know I could.” Sighing because a packed Tao isn’t the place to have an honest conversation, I tell her, “We can catch up later. Privately. All you need to know for now is that everyone knows where they stand, okay?”

Luca sizes me up with another glare, and while it seems I’ve convinced her, I can see she doesn’t like being left out of the loop. Flipping her hairover her shoulder, she gets up and pauses before looking over her shoulder at me again. She really is annoyingly smooth. “Yes, tonight is awesome because of me, so don’t fuck it up.”

Luca sashays over to Jude and pounces on her as one of their favorite songs starts playing, and they jump around with the happiness of kids out for their first night on the town. I swear I even hear“this is my favorite song!” squealed over the music, and it's an effort to hide my smile. It's nice to see this side of them again.

It's at the point in the evening where the smell of sweat mingled with smoke machines and alcohol becomes overwhelming, and the only way to deal with it is more alcohol. Flagging down Satine for a drink, Dom’s timing is perfect as he finally surfaces and returns to our booth, and I signal to Satine to bring him one too.

Noting Dom’s dark blonde, tousled hair and untucked shirt, I clap him on the back as he sits next to me, and I ask, “Everything okay with the…business?” Giving me a roguish grin, he responds, “There’s nothing like a bit of pleasure after you’ve taken care of the business.” Falling into a natural flow of conversation, I burst out laughing as Dom tells me about the party the twins tried to pull off recently. As pissed as he was, it really wasn’t that long ago that he and I did something similar. His dad was furious at us, and I genuinely thought we were going to be skewered on the estate's iron gates when we got caught.

Satine arrives with an ice bucket, a bottle of champagne, and our drinks for the table, and she looks at my confused face as she responds, “Did you think I was going to leave my bosses table without a fresh supply of her favorite drink?” Grinning, I accept the drinks and catch Luca’s eye to beckon her and Jude over. We may as well toast to being together again.Standing, I unscrew the cork of the bottle, and it pops as Luca squeals with happiness. Dom hands me the empty glasses, and I fill them all midway and pass them out to the girls. Once we all have a glass, I raise mine high to share my toast. “To being together again, and a reminder that we’re stronger together than we are apart.”

Bubbles fizzle over my tongue as I take a sip of the champagne and immediately put the glass aside. I prefer my normal drink. Dom leans in to tell me, “You should come over to the estate soon. I’ve got a matter that could use your brand of…expertise.” I agree, but I’m only half listening. A curvy, pretty blonde girl from the Human Faction approaches me flirtatiously, and in another life, I may have taken her up on it. But tonight, her advances are unwelcome. Seeing the tense set of Jude’s shoulders shows I’m not the only one who feels this way because when she turns around, she has murder written all over her face.