Page 137
Story: The Road to Ruined
I turn to Luca once he leaves the room. "Do you want me to help you shower?" I ask.
"I don't need help showering anymore," he says.
"But do you want me to help you anyway? Because you love me?"
He smiles. "Well, I do love you so…yeah, I guess so."
Luca kisses me before following me into the shower, and we wash each other's hair like we always do. He uses the grab bars even though he says he doesn't need them. We both know he does—and he knows I don't think any less of him for it. I'm always careful not to drip water on the floor, too.
We spent almost three months in Belarus—that's how long it took to get Luca clean and healthy enough to move. Since then, we've been here in the Maldives. It's quiet—no one bothers us—and now even I get up with the sun.
My family is smaller than it was when I met them; our lives are a lot different, too. I still think about them. Sometimes, I like to imagine that I was wrong about there being nothing and that Brady and Rhett are out there somewhere—in another life or on another plane. They have a picket fence and two kids—one of each—and in their world, none of this ever happened. It wasn'teven a phase. It's just a story they tell them…about how Daddy wanted to be a rockstar, but he got this instead, and it was so much better.
And when I missed River and Hazel, I'd picture them selling honey and essential oils at the side of the road in a small town in the Canadian Rockies. In my mind, they had a Christmas tree farm, and they still ran barefoot in the woods and called it witchcraft.
But I don't have to do that anymore. Because right now, they're in the kitchen making breakfast. I know I'm not hallucinating—I don't need to do that anymore, either. I can see them, touch them, smell them…
Still, I squeeze my eyes shut just in case.
"That's too much egg, Riv. It's going to taste like an omelet," Hazel says.
"Well, you do it then."
Once we got Luca clean and moved into our beachfront home, Declan searched for them. And after he found them, he was in Canada for a month before he finally convinced them to come home and let him take care of them like he promised.
He left us with two bodyguards and a doctor, just in case. I was a little worried, but I didn't need to be. Luca and I were fine—more than fine, actually. I think we needed that time together more than either of us knew, and we were both happier and closer than ever before for it. I let him tie me up…a lot. We only fought when we were fucking, and we bought each other rings. Mine's a ruby, and his is a black band. We can't really get married since we're both supposed to be dead, but we pretend we are anyway, and he calls me wifey.
I didn't tell Declan we got high and jumped off the roof into the pool.
And then, he came home, and I had a family again.
"Hi," I say, sitting at the bar across from them. "What are you making?"
"French toast," Hazel says. "With peanut butter."
"And Bloody Marys," River adds.
"How was Russia?" I ask Hazel.
"It was nice," Hazel says. "Declan and I didn't get back until like…two hours ago. We didn't want to miss your show."
I've been a few times myself. Declan and Luca are still recording and releasing songs that won't be played on any big streaming services, but you can find them on the web. Some people still claim they're a hoax or produced by AI, but most of the world seems to have accepted that Declan is out of reach, living somewhere in Russia—alone—making banned music.
And Declan is happy enough with his family and immortality to make up for what he misses from the crowds and touring.
As for the rest of us living in this house…we've all been declared dead.
And everything is peaceful with The Order again. They haven't tried to come after us under the condition that Declan stays out of North and South America indefinitely. I even went to a ritual with him in Moscow; his father was there, too. He wouldn't speak to me directly. It's the only time I've ever met him, and standing in front of him made me want to crawl out of my skin.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't stare straight into the eyes of anyone wearing a gold mask for a little too long—just in case. But Sebastian wasn't behind any of them.
"Mmm…I would have waited for you guys to get back," I tell her. "I'm sure you're tired, and now you're doing all this for me?"
"No way. It's your big day, and we love you. Let me do this, River. You go sit with Teagan."
"Here you go," River says, setting one of the Bloody Marys in her hands in front of me before sitting on the stool beside me. "Extra bloody for you."
"Thank you," I tell her before taking a drink.
"I don't need help showering anymore," he says.
"But do you want me to help you anyway? Because you love me?"
He smiles. "Well, I do love you so…yeah, I guess so."
Luca kisses me before following me into the shower, and we wash each other's hair like we always do. He uses the grab bars even though he says he doesn't need them. We both know he does—and he knows I don't think any less of him for it. I'm always careful not to drip water on the floor, too.
We spent almost three months in Belarus—that's how long it took to get Luca clean and healthy enough to move. Since then, we've been here in the Maldives. It's quiet—no one bothers us—and now even I get up with the sun.
My family is smaller than it was when I met them; our lives are a lot different, too. I still think about them. Sometimes, I like to imagine that I was wrong about there being nothing and that Brady and Rhett are out there somewhere—in another life or on another plane. They have a picket fence and two kids—one of each—and in their world, none of this ever happened. It wasn'teven a phase. It's just a story they tell them…about how Daddy wanted to be a rockstar, but he got this instead, and it was so much better.
And when I missed River and Hazel, I'd picture them selling honey and essential oils at the side of the road in a small town in the Canadian Rockies. In my mind, they had a Christmas tree farm, and they still ran barefoot in the woods and called it witchcraft.
But I don't have to do that anymore. Because right now, they're in the kitchen making breakfast. I know I'm not hallucinating—I don't need to do that anymore, either. I can see them, touch them, smell them…
Still, I squeeze my eyes shut just in case.
"That's too much egg, Riv. It's going to taste like an omelet," Hazel says.
"Well, you do it then."
Once we got Luca clean and moved into our beachfront home, Declan searched for them. And after he found them, he was in Canada for a month before he finally convinced them to come home and let him take care of them like he promised.
He left us with two bodyguards and a doctor, just in case. I was a little worried, but I didn't need to be. Luca and I were fine—more than fine, actually. I think we needed that time together more than either of us knew, and we were both happier and closer than ever before for it. I let him tie me up…a lot. We only fought when we were fucking, and we bought each other rings. Mine's a ruby, and his is a black band. We can't really get married since we're both supposed to be dead, but we pretend we are anyway, and he calls me wifey.
I didn't tell Declan we got high and jumped off the roof into the pool.
And then, he came home, and I had a family again.
"Hi," I say, sitting at the bar across from them. "What are you making?"
"French toast," Hazel says. "With peanut butter."
"And Bloody Marys," River adds.
"How was Russia?" I ask Hazel.
"It was nice," Hazel says. "Declan and I didn't get back until like…two hours ago. We didn't want to miss your show."
I've been a few times myself. Declan and Luca are still recording and releasing songs that won't be played on any big streaming services, but you can find them on the web. Some people still claim they're a hoax or produced by AI, but most of the world seems to have accepted that Declan is out of reach, living somewhere in Russia—alone—making banned music.
And Declan is happy enough with his family and immortality to make up for what he misses from the crowds and touring.
As for the rest of us living in this house…we've all been declared dead.
And everything is peaceful with The Order again. They haven't tried to come after us under the condition that Declan stays out of North and South America indefinitely. I even went to a ritual with him in Moscow; his father was there, too. He wouldn't speak to me directly. It's the only time I've ever met him, and standing in front of him made me want to crawl out of my skin.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't stare straight into the eyes of anyone wearing a gold mask for a little too long—just in case. But Sebastian wasn't behind any of them.
"Mmm…I would have waited for you guys to get back," I tell her. "I'm sure you're tired, and now you're doing all this for me?"
"No way. It's your big day, and we love you. Let me do this, River. You go sit with Teagan."
"Here you go," River says, setting one of the Bloody Marys in her hands in front of me before sitting on the stool beside me. "Extra bloody for you."
"Thank you," I tell her before taking a drink.
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