Page 38

‘Let’s hope so.’
‘Do you want one?’
‘You’re a lifesaver, sir.’
TWELVE
Lucy on the hospital bed, a nurse to hold her hand. Every other face a stranger.
Sharp smells in her nose. Agony like a hall of screams. And then Billie, Billie, Billie: a wet mass on her chest, emotions so tangled their beginnings can’t be grasped.
Then – a different hospital, a different bed. And this time Daniel’s there, telling her just how much he loves her. Pain, worse than before. And when soft new life is placed in her arms, she can’t believe how much smaller it is this time, and even more precious for its fragility. ‘Fin,’ she whispers, and finds herself back on the quay. Noemie’s arms are around her, and she’s cold, so cold, so utterly lacking in strength.
Jake’s voice, behind her. For a moment she wonders if he’s a memory too. When his hand touches her shoulder, she knows without question he’s real, that he’s about to confirm what Noemie just explained.
‘A live situation,’ he says, ‘things get muddled. Messages get relayed, one boat to another, and before you know it it’s Chinese whispers. That’s no excuse – I should’ve confirmedwith another vessel before I shared. I’m so very sorry, Lucy. They found Daniel but not the kids.’
She unravels, then; a flower shedding petals. Noemie can’t hold her up, and Jake reacts too late to save her. Her knees strike the flagstones. Pain comes, a dagger in her side. The crowd presses close. Hands reach out, as if she’s the centrepiece of a religious ceremony, no longer a contagion but a relic in some pagan ritual beside the sea.
They found Daniel but not the kids.
Lucy’s breath comes in snatches. She has no strength but she has to stand.
Because she can’t be here—
They found Daniel
—on the quay—
but not the kids.
—while
Billie and Fin are still missing.
Her lungs fill and she screams again. Not the sharp steam-whistle from before. This is a cry of separation from somewhere deep. She pushes up with her hands. Gets a foot beneath her. Straightens.
Missing.
Missing.Missing.
Lucy stands, almost. Then she trips forwards, cheekbone slamming the flagstones. Her brain reverberates in her skull. The crowdooohs. More hands reach out. The world goes dark, reduced to muddy voices.
‘—sus, she’s frozen.’
‘Soaked through.’
‘—her to the ambulance now!’
‘—of the way, please. Stand back, everyone.’
Up, suddenly. A feeling of weightlessness.
‘No,’ she moans, then yells. She has to get back on Jake’s boat. Has to get back out there, beyond the breakwater.
They found Daniel but not the kids.
That can’t be. It just can’t.