Page 64

“Oh!” Helen gasped. “I am so sorry! It was quite difficult when I lost my father. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to lose your mother. We ladies need our mothers.”

“It wasn’t all bad. It was difficult at times, of course, but I had my younger sister Samantha for company, and I was so busy caring for her that I tended to forget just how much I missed her.”

“Well, she would be very happy for you.” Helen nodded. “Did you have a title before?”

“Yes, my father is an earl, not that I ever truly realized just how fortunate that made me.”

“I think it would be wonderful to be in a position such as yours. I could attend balls, wear beautiful gowns, and meet gentlemen. It sounds so perfect.”

“She has always been a romantic,” her mother explained. “Us ladies are supposed to have a terrible time finding a match for their daughters, but my problem shall be that she will come of age and marry the first gentleman who woos her.”

“That is untrue! I want a love match and nothing less, just like the Duchess no doubt wanted.”

Diana paused for a moment. Was it better to lie and tell her that she had indeed found a love match with the Duke, right in front of him, or was it better to be honest and tell Helen that she did not need to find love to find her way in the world, while revealing that she did not love her husband?

“Of course.” She nodded. “And you will find love, I am sure of it.”

“More than anything.” The mother laughed. “We shall need to find a man who can listen to you talk all day. A man with the patience of a saint, perhaps?”

“And then some, to be safe.” Helen laughed. “But if the Duchess believes that I shall succeed, then I will.”

Diana was not sure how to take that. Was she truly already being seen as intelligent and kind and in love with her husband? Was that who she truly was? To be sure, she was not dim, and shecould be quite fun if she was relaxed, but could she continue to play such a role?

“You have found a wonderful wife, Your Grace?” the mother said gently.

“I truly have.” He nodded. “I knew from the moment that I saw her that she was the lady I needed. I am simply fortunate that she agreed to marry me, because she truly would have had her choice of men. Perhaps I ought to remember that whenever she asks me for something.”

The two of them laughed, but Diana couldn’t help but think. She had lied to Helen, to be sure, but only out of necessity. Colin, however, had crafted some sort of narrative about how they had met, some sort of love at first sight that had of course never happened.

Was this what it meant to keep up appearances? She had never truly done so with her father, as there was no point and it would have been seen through instantly. She had always on some level hated that, but at least she was able to live authentically that way.

A short while later, the two ladies left, and Diana sighed, leaning back and taking another strawberry.

“That was not too difficult, was it?” Colin asked. “I knew that you could do it.”

“Yes, it is quite easy to play a part.”

He looked at her for a moment but did not respond to what she had said. She was, in all honesty, grateful for that, because they could not have a dispute in such a public place.

“They liked you a lot. I could tell.”

“I liked them, too. Helen is a lot like Samantha, I think.”

“With the exception that Miss Swinton is looking to find love and romance, and Samantha is looking for anything but that.”

“It is not what they want, but how they feel about it. There is an assuredness to them. They both seem to think that, no matter what is against them, they will find what they are looking for and get it. I admire that.”

“It is certainly an admirable trait.”

“But it is more than that. I feel as though it is something that I have never been able to do.”

“Well, what do you want? We can get it for you.”

“That is the problem. I have never truly wanted anything. I wanted to find a husband for Samantha and leave that house.”

“And Samantha does not want a husband, and so you are quite alright there, and you have left the house. Unless you are forgetting that part.”

“No, of course, I am not, but I did not achieve that myself. I simply got lucky and married a duke.”