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“Like who? Dad would rather captain a cargo ship fifty weeks of the year than take a local job, and Kara moved to the other side of the planet just to get away from Philly.”

After Mom had passed away five years ago, my dad and sister had wasted no time shifting their lives across the globe. I didn’t blame them for wanting to escape the awful memories of Mom’s illness. Hell, if my studies hadn’t kept me in Philly, I might’ve gone, too. Still, it hurt that they were rarely home and only called every couple of months. How had our happy family of four become just…me?

I’d only managed because of Kieran, the one shining light remaining in my life. With him, I’d still had love, belonging, and the prospect of a happy future. And then he took his last breath in my arms on the sidewalk.

Why did the people I loved keep leaving me?

“Like me!” Lettie jolted me from the painful memory and stabbed her chest with her index finger. “I’d miss you. I’d be shattered if those sons of bitches murdered you.”

Shit.My shoulders slumped as I let out a deep sigh. Lettie and I had been best friends since middle school, and she’d been my rock after the shooting. “You’re right. I’m being insensitive.”

“And selfish. Inconsiderate. Foolhardy. Reckless.” She counted off on her fingers.

“Okay, I think you’ve found enough synonyms for me being a thoughtless jerk.”

“That’s a good one. Wish I’d thought of it.”

I put my arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m sorry, Lettie. I’ll be more careful. I won’t go to the club so often, all right?”

Her chest expanded with the deep breath she drew in. “Just please take care, okay?”

“I will.” I released Lettie and headed to the sofa, where I slumped into the comfy cushions. “Three years and I’m no closer to nailing this guy. I need to try a fresh approach.”

Lettie dropped into the spot beside me. “Youaredoing something new. In six months, you’ll graduate and your internship at the Justice Department will become a full-time job. This is what you’ve been working so hard for. You’re going to make this city a better place, and you’re going to do it the right way. Don’t lose sight of the big picture.”

“I haven’t.”Had I?Time hadn’t lessened my determination for revenge. It only strengthened it. Something else had changed within me. My sadness and pain had morphed into anger. No, it was more than that. Ihatedthe people who’d ruined Kieran’s and my lives. I tamped down those thoughts because I didn’t want Lettie worrying about my current state of mind.

I turned to face my bestie. “I’m so disappointed in myself for freezing up when the bike was coming at me.”

Lettie sighed and leaned her head against my shoulder. “I’m just glad you came to your senses and got out of the way in time.”

My muscles tensed. “That’s the thing. I didn’t.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nope. All the training I’ve done to prepare for a situation where I’m in danger, and I shut my eyes and turned into a statue. If that rider had pulled a weapon and started shooting, I’d have been as helpless as I was the first time.” I dragged my hands over my face as frustration ate at me. I needed to be better than that.

“You’re human, Sage. Cut yourself some slack. Despite what you’ve trained for, you’re not programmed to handle every intense situation thrown at you.”

“An old lady with bags of groceries managed to keep her eyes open and get out of its path.”

Lettie lifted her head from my shoulder to look me in the eye. “Do you ever think about going back to therapy? It might help with your nightmares, too.”

I picked at a ruined cuticle on my finger. My nails looked like shit. “I’m done reliving that day. And I’m done talking about how it wasn’t my fault and I shouldn’t feel guilty that I’m still here and Kieran isn’t.” Therapy hadn’t lessened those thoughts in the slightest. It didn’t change facts.

Lettie’s swallow was audible. Sometimes I wondered why she put up with me.

“So, what happened?” she asked. “How is it you’re here sitting on the sofa and not laid up in the hospital?”

I flopped my head back on the cushion and stared at the ceiling. “A hot guy saved me.”

“What?” Lettie gasped, grabbing my jaw and forcing me to face her. “Details. Right now.”

I sat up and tucked one ankle under my thigh. “There’s not much to tell. He literally picked me up like some giant ogre and hauled me out of the way a moment before the bike would’ve plowed into us. It was kind of mortifying.”

Lettie smiled like an evil villain about to carry out a sinister plan. “This is an interesting development. Tell me more.”

“About the hot guy? How about this? He’s rude and an arrogant ass.”