Page 13
Story: The Master
Based on what I’d seen, I wasn’t sure if I should pity Trenton or hope that someone came around to give him the kick in the butt I was almost certain he’d need to be able to become a contributing member of society.
“My father is apparently working at a junkyard, but Mom hates it and wants him to open his own fishing shop so she can have a florist shop next to it.”
“She wants a florist shop?” Somehow, the sort of upbeat people I pictured working in a place as sweet and pretty as a flower shop didn’t mesh with what I’d seen of my grandmother.
“No,” Mom said. “She was a nurse and retired a decade ago, I guess, but neither of them saved well for retirement. I’m sure there’s some sob story that goes with that too, but I didn’t bother asking. As soon as she started talking about how I needed to get Finley to pay back child support because then I could give her and Dad the money to start their shops, I had enough.”
My mom had always been laid-back, rarely yelling or even raising her voice, but when she finally snapped, she was a force to be reckoned with. I’d seen her calmly face down homophobic assholes with a smile and a few quiet, cutting words, and walk away from people screaming obscenities, so for her to have crossed that line, things had to have been bad.
“I told them that I’d never let them ask either man for a dime, and if they tried to, I’d make sure everyone in their hometown knew that their lesbian daughter had a daughter out of wedlock with a gay man. See how many people like Janette’s cheesy potatoes after that.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “How did they take that?”
Mom chuckled, and the sound eased some of the ache around my heart. It’d been awful when Mona had walked out on us, but Mom and I’d still had each other, our home, our neighborhood. We might not have been extremely close to a lot of people, but we still had our community. Mom had lost her entire family, her home, everything she’d known for the first twenty years of her life. For the first few days since they’d arrived, she must’ve felt like she could possibly be getting some of that back.
“About as well as you imagine. It was good, though. Gave me the chance to say all the things I wish I’d said all those years ago but hadn’t had the courage. I told them that I was proud of the woman I’d become and of the daughter I’d raised, all without any help from them. I said that they could go back to their narrow-minded, bigoted little world, and know that I would never think about them again.”
Every time I thought I knew exactly how amazing my mother was, she went and did something badass like that.
“I’m sorry that you won’t have the chance to have an extended family.” Her voice had grown quieter. “I know you’ve always wanted that.”
“Don’t be. I don’t want to be a part of any family that embraces that sort of hate. Besides, I have a father now who is better than anything I could have imagined.”
“He is pretty great.”
“Was all this going on yesterday when we were supposed to have brunch?” I asked. “I would’ve come over and used a few choice words of my own.”
“You didn’t need to get involved in all that. Family stuff can get so ugly sometimes. I never want you around that.”
I could have reminded her that I was an adult, not a child who needed protecting anymore, but I knew my age didn’t matter to her. I was her daughter, and she’d protect me as long as she was alive.
“I promise I’ll make it this Sunday,” she said. “My treat, for standing you up.”
She sounded a little stiff, as if she wasn’t quite completely behind her attempt at humor, but if I’d been dealing with that yesterday, I’d probably feel the same way. Especially since she’d been worried about me. My guilt at that would probably prompt me to pick up the bill at brunch before she could.
We really were two peas in a pod sometimes.
Nine
Nate
That goodnight kisshad kept me awake for hours last night, most of my thoughts alternating between pride that I’d kept my promise and frustration that I hadn’t tried to change her mind. It’d been the right thing to do, letting her go up to her apartment by herself, but that didn’t mean I’d wanted her any less.
When I’d finally fallen asleep, I had one of those intense sex dreams that almost seemed real. Waking up at five, I’d spent a little extra time in the shower to take care of myself before heading into work early. Keeping busy at the office was a better idea than anything I could be doing at home.
Besides, I had someone I needed to talk to, and I wanted to do it face-to-face.
I was almost done with my emails when I heard Finley coming down the hall. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d come in to give me another warning about Ashlee, but he didn’t even call out his usual morning greeting, which solidified my decision to talk to him first thing. I didn’t want to lose my closest friend because I’d been an idiot.
I gave him a couple minutes to settle into his office before I headed over. His door was open, but I rapped on it with my knuckles anyway. He glanced up, and for a beat, I thought he was going to send me away. If he did, I didn’t know what I’d do, but fortunately for me, he was a much better man than I was.
“Come in.”
I sat down across from him instead of standing like I usually did, and that seemed to catch his attention. I followed that with the last two words I knew he’d expect to hear from me. “Thank you.”
An eyebrow went up, and he leaned back in his chair, giving me his full attention. “Go on.”
“Thank you for talking to me yesterday. I needed it.” I plucked a piece of imaginary lint from my pants. “And I want you to know that I’ve made things right with Ashlee.”
“My father is apparently working at a junkyard, but Mom hates it and wants him to open his own fishing shop so she can have a florist shop next to it.”
“She wants a florist shop?” Somehow, the sort of upbeat people I pictured working in a place as sweet and pretty as a flower shop didn’t mesh with what I’d seen of my grandmother.
“No,” Mom said. “She was a nurse and retired a decade ago, I guess, but neither of them saved well for retirement. I’m sure there’s some sob story that goes with that too, but I didn’t bother asking. As soon as she started talking about how I needed to get Finley to pay back child support because then I could give her and Dad the money to start their shops, I had enough.”
My mom had always been laid-back, rarely yelling or even raising her voice, but when she finally snapped, she was a force to be reckoned with. I’d seen her calmly face down homophobic assholes with a smile and a few quiet, cutting words, and walk away from people screaming obscenities, so for her to have crossed that line, things had to have been bad.
“I told them that I’d never let them ask either man for a dime, and if they tried to, I’d make sure everyone in their hometown knew that their lesbian daughter had a daughter out of wedlock with a gay man. See how many people like Janette’s cheesy potatoes after that.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “How did they take that?”
Mom chuckled, and the sound eased some of the ache around my heart. It’d been awful when Mona had walked out on us, but Mom and I’d still had each other, our home, our neighborhood. We might not have been extremely close to a lot of people, but we still had our community. Mom had lost her entire family, her home, everything she’d known for the first twenty years of her life. For the first few days since they’d arrived, she must’ve felt like she could possibly be getting some of that back.
“About as well as you imagine. It was good, though. Gave me the chance to say all the things I wish I’d said all those years ago but hadn’t had the courage. I told them that I was proud of the woman I’d become and of the daughter I’d raised, all without any help from them. I said that they could go back to their narrow-minded, bigoted little world, and know that I would never think about them again.”
Every time I thought I knew exactly how amazing my mother was, she went and did something badass like that.
“I’m sorry that you won’t have the chance to have an extended family.” Her voice had grown quieter. “I know you’ve always wanted that.”
“Don’t be. I don’t want to be a part of any family that embraces that sort of hate. Besides, I have a father now who is better than anything I could have imagined.”
“He is pretty great.”
“Was all this going on yesterday when we were supposed to have brunch?” I asked. “I would’ve come over and used a few choice words of my own.”
“You didn’t need to get involved in all that. Family stuff can get so ugly sometimes. I never want you around that.”
I could have reminded her that I was an adult, not a child who needed protecting anymore, but I knew my age didn’t matter to her. I was her daughter, and she’d protect me as long as she was alive.
“I promise I’ll make it this Sunday,” she said. “My treat, for standing you up.”
She sounded a little stiff, as if she wasn’t quite completely behind her attempt at humor, but if I’d been dealing with that yesterday, I’d probably feel the same way. Especially since she’d been worried about me. My guilt at that would probably prompt me to pick up the bill at brunch before she could.
We really were two peas in a pod sometimes.
Nine
Nate
That goodnight kisshad kept me awake for hours last night, most of my thoughts alternating between pride that I’d kept my promise and frustration that I hadn’t tried to change her mind. It’d been the right thing to do, letting her go up to her apartment by herself, but that didn’t mean I’d wanted her any less.
When I’d finally fallen asleep, I had one of those intense sex dreams that almost seemed real. Waking up at five, I’d spent a little extra time in the shower to take care of myself before heading into work early. Keeping busy at the office was a better idea than anything I could be doing at home.
Besides, I had someone I needed to talk to, and I wanted to do it face-to-face.
I was almost done with my emails when I heard Finley coming down the hall. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d come in to give me another warning about Ashlee, but he didn’t even call out his usual morning greeting, which solidified my decision to talk to him first thing. I didn’t want to lose my closest friend because I’d been an idiot.
I gave him a couple minutes to settle into his office before I headed over. His door was open, but I rapped on it with my knuckles anyway. He glanced up, and for a beat, I thought he was going to send me away. If he did, I didn’t know what I’d do, but fortunately for me, he was a much better man than I was.
“Come in.”
I sat down across from him instead of standing like I usually did, and that seemed to catch his attention. I followed that with the last two words I knew he’d expect to hear from me. “Thank you.”
An eyebrow went up, and he leaned back in his chair, giving me his full attention. “Go on.”
“Thank you for talking to me yesterday. I needed it.” I plucked a piece of imaginary lint from my pants. “And I want you to know that I’ve made things right with Ashlee.”
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