Page 107 of The Love Playbook

I blink back at him, my thoughts mush. “Like what?” I ask, once I recover.

“Anything.”

I want you.

I swallow back the thought, because I know that’s not what he means. Leave it to Chris to take what is probably the single most sensual moment of my life and use it to get in my head.

Giving my body would be so much easier.

“I think I’ve lost ten gallons of sweat since we stepped in this room,” I say with a half laugh.

“Not that.” He shakes his head, his gaze drifting over my face. “Something real, Lettie. Something no one else knows.”

I huff out a breath, and the frantic beat of my heart pounds against my ribs so hard, I know he must hear it. “I already did.”

His brow creases, clearly confused by my cop-out answer, so I explain, “You’re the first person I’ve ever told about my mother.”

He nods, but I can see in his eyes it’s not enough. He wants more. “Why were you avoiding me, Lettie? What are you afraid of?”

My gut clenches like a fist, and I drop my gaze to his chest. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

“Bullshit.”

My hold on him loosens, the desire to flee itching beneath the surface of my skin. Suddenly, I don’t want to be here anymore; this is more than I bargained for.

The walls of the room feel like they’re closing in. The air thins as I take my next breath. The fist in my stomach moves to my chest, and everything constricts.

Chris’s grip tightens on my waist, as if he senses my thoughts. “Everybody’s scared of something.”

“Oh, yeah?” I arch a brow, intent on proving him wrong when I coolly ask, “And what are you afraid of?”

His nostrils flare, and I think I’ve got him until he releases a ragged breath and whispers, “I’m falling for you.” One of his hands runs up my back, skimming my spine as he finds the delicate column of my neck. “I think I have been for the last year.” My heart leaps at the honesty in his voice. “Every smart retort or biting remark sends another hook into my heart, and if we’re being honest, I think you feel the same, even if you’re not ready to admit it. And a part of me is afraid you might never be ready to.”

I bite my lip as something I don’t recognize flutters to life inside of me at his words. “Chris . . . I . . .” My voice cracks, and I shake my head as the heaviness in my chest lifts.

Closing my eyes, I inhale through my nose, allowing the floodgates of my mind to open and whatever surfaces to spill out. “I’m afraid I’ll end up like my mother,” I confess, squeezingmy lids so hard, I see stars. “I’m so damn scared all it’ll take is one little thing to push me into a depression so deep I can never crawl out of. And then as a result, I’ll push everything and everyone good away.”

“Lettie, open your eyes,” Chris commands, and I listen, blinking them open to find his eyes warm on mine. “That won’t happen.”

I swallow, my throat working to hold back my emotion. “Even if it doesn’t, I can’t be dependent on anyone, because when you fall for someone, a part of your happiness becomes entwined with theirs. You start to rely on them. You become dependent.” I shake my head, eyes widening as fear sinks its claws into my heart. “And I can’t ever rely on someone for my happiness, because if I do, what happens when they’re gone? If they leave?”

Hurt and pain lash through me at the thought, so strong and so visceral I feel it in my bones.

“Lettie, I would never?”

“You don’t know that,” I say, my voice thick. “Relationships change things.Lovechanges things. And no one can predict the future.”

“You’re stronger than you think,” he says so confidently I almost believe him.

My chin wobbles, betraying my emotion. “But what if I’m not?”

His gaze locks with mine while his hands slide through my hair. His fingers rake against my scalp and elicit a soft moan from my chest.

“Let me prove you wrong,” he whispers. Leaning closer, he presses his forehead against my own, our breaths syncing to a steady rhythm. “Let me show you how strong you can be. How strongwecan be together. Just tell me what you want, Lettie, and it’s yours.”

When I hesitate, he presses his lips to mine, his mouth gentle and coaxing, delivering on all the promises he just made.

Desire swirls inside my chest while his words tug on my heart. I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff. I’m on the precipice of something big, unsure if I’m ready to jump.