Page 91 of The Love Hoax

Chapter Sixty-Four

Evie

Ipop up in bed. It’s no use. I haven’t gotten a wink of sleep. The clock reads 12:10 a.m. The last hour consisted of me lying in the dark, staring at the shadows on the ceiling, ruminating over my conversations with both Caroline and Steph. Apparently, my subconscious has grabbed hold of some message beneath the surface and isn’t going to let me rest until I deal with it.

“Fine,” I mumble into the empty room. I’m still livid at Caroline. But without admitting it to anyone else, I know my best friend is right. The trauma with Marco has dictated so much of my experience with the eligible men in my life since.

At some point along the way, I decided that no man is worth the heartache. I made a subconscious but concerted effort to seek out easy relationships, the kind that would keep my heart safe from pain and betrayal. Which is why none of those relationships got anywhere. They were easy, safe. Boring.

The revelation hits me hard.

I’ve been looking for the exact opposite of what I need to be happy. What I need to make someone else happy.

And then came Adam.

Despite all my protestations of late, Adam is the only man I can envision a future with.

So why am I not fighting for him? Why did I blow off Caroline and Steph?

Despite the dark room, the answer is as clear as day.

I’m scared. Terrified, actually. Of putting my heart on a platter. Of being vulnerable.

I can no longer ignore thatthingunder the surface, waving its hands at me since I left Colorado. No more than I can ignore my own existence.

I love Adam. So much that I can’t bear to lose him.

He’s worth the risk.

The epiphany is like jumping clear of a cliff’s edge without a parachute, praying there will be a miraculous soft landing.

Maybe Caroline understood something I could not. Which is why she wanted me to have an adventure even when she couldn’t join me.

I’m a terrible person.

Suddenly, I can’t wait. There are too many things I need to fix.

I reach for my phone resting on the nightstand.

“I’m so sorry,” I cry when Caroline picks up the phone on the second ring.

“So am I,” she says, as if she’s been waiting for my call round-the-clock.

Neither one of us notes the late hour. We are both wide awake.

Which, come to think of it, is odd. Caroline is no night owl.

Then I hear some background noise over the phone. “Is someone there with you?”

“It’s only my doctor.”

“Huh?”

“My doctor, Calvin. He stopped by to make another house call.He’s very dedicated to his patients.”

I’m about to make a snarky comment when I hear her say, “Doc, will you excuse me for a minute?”

I’m stunned. She’s serious.