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Eiran almost smiled. “I’m just glad your soul is still intact, old friend.”

Apollo faced me, as pale as the moon. “Are you okay to walk?”

“Of course,” I croaked.

He nodded a bit spasmodically as he rubbed a hand along his forehead. “Look, I know you have no reason to trust me. I know you’re scared, and rightfully so, I mean, look where I brought you. But please come to the manor with me and let me explain. And if you don’t want to see my face ever again after that, I’ll leave first thing in the morning, and Isa will help you get home. Just, please, come with me now. I won’t ever forgive myself if something happens to you.”

He offered me his hand as he waited for my decision. It was not an easy decision to make. In fact, it was the hardest and most frightening thing I’d ever had to do. Believe. Believe in the world and the people beyond my Shop and my books. Believe that it was possible to open up to someone and not have my heart ripped out of my chest. Believe that even if I did end up getting hurt, the experience was worth it regardless.

But a part of me must have already taken this decision because it was hardly a breath before I stepped forward and surrendered my hand to his.

Apollo laced our fingers together slowly, firmly and did not let go of me all the way back.

20

Nepheli

Iwas so overwhelmed with questions, questions, questions, and at the same time, so high on adrenaline that it was a miracle I didn’t pass out the minute we entered the manor’s candlelit kitchen.

Breathing hard, I leaned against the marble edge of the counter as I waited for Apollo to say something. Anything. I had no idea how to read his silence. I also had no idea how it was possible for someone to feel so conflicted. A part of me wanted to forget this journey ever happened and go home, where I was safe and in control of my surroundings. But another, brand new part of me wanted more time, more days, more adventure. To get to know him. To get to know myself next to him. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to trust him. I was such a mess.

Apollo began rummaging through the many drawers and cabinets of the kitchen for what ended up being a heap of bandages and an opaque bottle of rubbing alcohol.

“What are these for?” I asked, frowning as he handed them to me.

“You fell on your knees earlier. You should disinfect the scrapes if there’re any.” His eyes raked over my body, cold and unaffected, but the hoarse quality of his voice betrayed him. “I’d help you, but I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage—”

“I don’t,” I blurted out.

Apollo crouched over the counter next to me, grabbing the edges with white-knuckled hands. He shut his eyes for a few long, torturous seconds. The silence became as thick as treacle, the only lively sounds coming from the crackling fireplace and the long, pendulum clock in the corner across the room.Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

I left the bottle and bandages on the countertop and tilted my head to the side, searching for his eyes.“Apollo?”

“Fuck, Nepheli,” he snapped with a ragged breath. “This is all my fault. You could have been really hurt today, and it’s all my fault.” He scrubbed a hand down his face, suffering from something fiercer than regret and more darting than shame.

Guilt.

But how? How was it possible that he felt anything at all?

“I ran,” I argued, moving a little closer. “You told me it was dangerous in the forest at night. You warned me. I didn’t listen. I heard what Isa said and panicked. I should’ve let you explain first. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to trust you.”

“The longer you spend life on your own, the harder it becomes to trust anyone other than yourself. Believe me, I understand,” Apollo said. “But, Nepheli, youhaveshown me trust. More trust than I deserve.”

“I ran,” I repeated shamefully.

“You ran because of me. You ran because I dragged you here in this beast of a place without explaining—” he choked on the words, cursed again, and turned around with a long, weary exhale.

We stood there, right next to each other, and for a few throbbing heartbeats, I could only register the brush of his elbow against mine and the warmth of his body radiating in waves.

I cleared my throat and refocused. “You said you were looking for your heart.”

Apollo merely nodded, his eyes pinned straight ahead on the pendulum.

“Why would your heart be in Elora?”

“Because of Verena,” was all he said.

“Verena?”