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I had seen the pain in his face when he told me that.
The way he tried to play it off, to shrug like it didn’t matter.
But it did.
It really did.
And the worst part?
He wasn’t alone.
There were so many kids like him—kids who felt like they had to be smaller, quieter, who had to hide important parts of themselves just to survive.
It wasn’t right.
It had never been right.
And now?
Now, we were going to change that. Well, change might be a strong word. We were going to help make things a little better.
I clenched my jaw, looking up at Mateo. “We have to get this right.”
“We will.” Mateo nodded, his eyes dark with understanding. Then he grinned and hefted his bottle. “When we’re not royally fucking it up.”
“To fucking it up,” I said, mirroring his smile.
“Royally,” he echoed.
Elliot, who had been silent up to this point, finally spoke up from the head of the table. “So, you two are coming out to everyone, then.”
I swallowed and stared at my boyfriend. As usual, he’d cut through all the noise and landed on the heart of the matter. Well, the heart of one of the matters at hand.
“What do you mean?” Mateo asked.
“You’re the sponsors, right? The parents, other teachers, administrators, all the other kids—they’ll know. They’ll see you two either as gay or allies, but you know how people are. They’ll assume you’re sleeping together.”
“What?” I spat. It was ridiculous. Mateo was my best friend. He was dreamy and all, but still, I didn’t want his . . . his anything!
Mateo hesitated, his expression unreadable. “Yeah,” he finally admitted. “I’ve thought about all this. It’s the main reason you had to twist my arm at first. I was . . . how do you say . . . a coward.”
“Mateo!” I protested. “You’re less of a coward than anyone I know.”
Elliot cleared his throat.
“Except Elliot. Although, his is pretty cowardly around Homer.”
Mateo snickered.
Elliot flicked me a bird.
Neither Mateo nor I had been hiding at school, not exactly. We were out—not waving rainbow flags through the hallways, but not dodging the truth either.
But this?
This was different.
This was standing up, putting our names on something, making ourselves visible in a way we never had before.