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Father’s expression softens. “I want to add power to it. The least I can do for saving my son’s life.”

My heart skips. “No. It’s my gift.”

He snaps his fingers and the plume fizzles. The gift falls into my palm.

“I’ll leave you then.”

He turns—

“Wait.”

He pauses, a large silhouette in the doorframe, moonlit purple sky framing him.

I swallow. “I don’t... understand. I have a legitimate chance to become a vitalian, and you’re unhappy. Angry, even.” I step towards him, squeezing Quin’s gift, and croak, “Why can’t you feel proud of me?”

He turns, and as he steps forward, I catch a tragic glint in his eye. His voice rumbles. “I’m ashamed.” He lets out an anguished breath. “When you strode back home, right to your mother’s side and healed her without a second’s hesitation... I wished that could have been me.”

Softly, I say, “It can be.”

His fists ball at his sides and loosen. “You think I’m cruel. Perhaps I am, but I want you all tolive.”

“I understand—”

“You don’t!”

I stagger back as he takes a long breath.

“Do you remember the summer you ran away from Hinsard and came back here? You came into the household drowning under the weight of your grandfather’s books.”

I swallow. “You stayed behind with him, made us leave for Hinsard earlier than other years. I only figured out he was sick when I was with Veronica. I brought books from his cabin in case he needed me to treat him. I knew you wouldn’t.”

“Those books would not have helped.”

“They might have.”

“He wasn’t sick.”

“He was gone by the time I got here. If I’d been faster—”

“He was executed.”

I suck in a tight breath. “What?”

“For performing complex spells. I sent you away, but... I was made to watch.”

My heart races. “What? You told me he died in his sleep.”

“You were only nine. I didn’t want you to know.”

“Y-you could have told me later.”

“Every time I think of... I couldn’t. You have such fond memories of him.” His voice breaks. “Icouldn’t.”

“Father...”

“You want so badly to be like him. And I’m afraid your fate will be the same.”

“Father, I have royal permission now,” I say softly. “You don’t have to fear for me.”