Page 49
Story: The Heart of Smoke
Spencer shrugs at that. “Tell them it’s mine. I’m already wearing a scarlet letter for fucking my stepmom and having her baby. Trust me, the family won’t be surprised.”
Hugo grimaces. “It could be mine. I should accept responsibility—”
“It’s ours,” Aubrey interjects fiercely as Spencer huffs out, “Dad, don’t be a martyr.”
“A martyr?” Hugo clips out. “I can’t allow you and Aubrey to bear all the weight here. It’s not fair. The three of us have tangled ourselves in this beautiful mess. The least I can do is own up to my part in it.”
“Do you trust your father and your brothers? The whole Park family?” I ask, darting my gaze to each one of them. “Is it possible you could get support rather than shame?”
Hugo gives me a firm nod. “We Parks stick together. We always have each other’s backs.”
“It sounds like, to me, this baby is a cause for celebration then,” I say with a grin. “Why don’t I step away and allow you three a moment of privacy.”
As the three of them hug, laugh, and for Aubrey, cry, I feel lighter as I exit the library. This family—the whole lot of them—is a loving family. Sure, they have their fair share of secrets and shame, but they’re not without hope.
They may not be my family, but I feel a certain sense of pride at being at the center of helping bring them closer together. I will do my best to get each and every one of them to open up.
Jude may be my biggest challenge yet, but I have growing faith I’ll help him too.
Jude
I’m antsy and eager to talk to Tate again. After our interruption, he’s been busy all day. Dempsey’s been in the library with him for hours and it’s driving me insane.
I just want to drag Tate back upstairs to my special place, listen to records, and pet his cat together. I want to hear him talk and squirm uncomfortably at the way he makes me talk too.
I just want him.
That thought makes my lower belly burn hot. What exactly does that mean? Do I really find him attractive?
When I think about his pouty lips, my dick twitches. Okay, so yeah, I do find him attractive. It’s strange as fuck, too, considering I’ve never once desired another man like this. Sure, I’ve thought other men looked good. I kind of thought of that as how one would appreciate art. Everyone does that, right?
Or do they?
Have I been bisexual all along and never recognized it?
Perhaps. I never shied away from looking at the other guys in the gym showers when I played football. Mostly, I was curious about what size dicks they had to compare myself to them. Some of the most arrogant dudes on the team had tiny-ass cocks, which I always found amusing. We had this one guy on the team, though, Tim Gallagher, who I found particularly interesting. Gallagher was one of the smaller guys on our team, but he was hung. Biggest dick I’d ever seen in my life. I always wondered how big it actually got like when he was hard and ready to fuck.
Now that I’m actually analyzing things, I’m realizing maybe I wasn’t as straight as I originally thought I was. Back then, had Gallagher approached me, stroking his dick, I might’ve stayed for the show. Hell, I might’ve even been curious enough to see if I could wrap my large hand around his massive girth.
Right.
So definitely not straight.
My attraction to Tate feels similar to the Gallagher thing. I’m curious, but much more aware. Maybe it’s because now I don’t have Serra to distract me. She was always pushing for sex and who was I to deny her? I wonder if I’d have realized I was bisexual a lot sooner if she hadn’t been there back then.
Not that it matters.
Realizing my sexuality is a moot point. I’m not the guy I was back then. I’m the reclusive freakshow Park who hides away in the shadows, a slave to his past failures. I’m not the kind of guy who pursues anyone—much less a guy—in a romantic way.
Why not?
My brain demands an answer and my heart is quick to lash back.
Because you don’t deserve love, remember?
Bitterness rears its ugly head. These new feelings for Tate, like my conversation with Baker, are only a reminder of what I can’t have. It sucks—really sucks—but it’s the hand I’ve been dealt.
My phone buzzes and I break from my melancholic thoughts to see who’s texting me.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49 (Reading here)
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104