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Unintelligible to a mortal unfamiliar with eternal life. The suffocating silence never yielded. Her thoughts were veiled with centuries of memories, locking away the good ones and leaving only the unpleasant ones at the forefront. She could slit her wrists to end the agony, but her skin would simply stitch itself back up. Death was a way of escaping, and it was not a luxury granted to the will of deities.

“And when he didn’t come?” Ronin asked.

“I tried to escape.” She managed a strained curve of her lips to dilute the heaviness of the subject. The last thing she desired was to discuss her past.

She gestured to the half empty vial dangling in between his fingers with her gaze. “Your mother made the tonic?”

“She made tons of shit for all sorts of ailments and other illnesses. Back home, she had the locals dropping by daily to refill their supply of medicinal cures.”

Naia enjoyed the way his voice grew nostalgic as he spoke of her. She almost didn’t have the heart to take advantage of the tender moment.

“Sounds like she would have made a decent witch.”

“Probably.” There was a curtness beneath his tone, evaporating its usual casualness that exploited a taut nerve.

Naia was no longer teetering on the line of whether he hid something. She felt it strongly in her gut. After the way Avi reacted to her question earlier, and the way Ronin’s residence was clearly on the side of the city with magic seeping in its air.

If he was a witch, what did he want from her?

If she were bold enough, she might’ve asked. But then what? Where would she go? She had nobody to turn to until she found Finnian. She peered out across the massive concrete jungle, debating her odds of finding him on her own.

Naia felt Ronin staring and rotated her head. He was quiet as his gaze bore into hers, penetrating so deep, it was as if his hands reached into her soul and tugged.

It made the perfect opportunity for him to draw attention to a topic they’d skirted around. Yet, he did not.

After all his kindness, why lie? It infuriated her to toggle back and forth, trying to decide if his intentions were honorable or deceptive.

But what about you? Her inner consciousness taunted. You are deceiving him as well.

She squeezed her hands into fists, annoyed with herself.

The tension between them was like a stiff blanket wrapped around her. She couldn’t handle it any longer.

“Let me be clear.” She inhaled a strangled breath to calm her frustration. “I am only using you. I can figure things out on my own, but I’m tired—extremely tired of persistently doing things alone, therefore I need your help to find Finnian. Whatever you want in return, it’s yours once it is done.”

With an infuriatingly relaxed expression, he shrugged. “Who says I want anything?”

They always do.

She glared at him, as if the look could demand him to answer truthfully. “Why else would you be helping me?”

He straightened up from the rail and shifted his body to face her. “Because you said you needed it.”

After a long life of walking alongside those who did not care, it was hard to believe Ronin was any different. To assume he had an ulterior motive was easier, because she’d allowed herself to walk down roads believing in people who only left her disappointed in the end.

If he was merely a kind-hearted mortal trying to help her, she wanted to give him another chance to kick her out of his life.

“I am using you,” she said, harder this time. “That is all.”

“Use me then.” One corner of his mouth slid up. “I don’t mind.”

She wanted to punch him.

It felt as if she had swallowed melted tree sap, warming her chest the longer he looked at her with that damned twinkling gleam in his eyes.

Naia crossed her arms to shield herself. She hated how exposed she felt under his gaze. As if he could read every small shift of her expression and body language with a natural talent that made absolutely no sense. “You are painstakingly irritating.”

A low laugh rumbled from him, and he put the vial to his mouth and gulped down the rest of the tonic.