Page 51 of The Friend Zone Experiment

“I’m so sorry,” said Renee. “I can’t imagine how you must befeeling.” She paused. “Is that why you’ve—why you think it was a mistake, when we—I thought you wanted to.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” said Ket Siong quickly. “I just think it’s better if we don’t… if we leave it there.”

“OK.” Renee was pale. She said tentatively, “Do you want to talk about what happened with your family?”

“No,” said Ket Siong.

She flinched as though he’d slapped her.

He was messing this up. It was impossible to think with Renee staring at him like that. He had to get her out of his room.

“I have things I’ve got to do,” he said. “Do you mind…?”

What he was most afraid of was that Renee would see through him. If she pressed, even a little, he might give way, regardless of all his resolutions to do the right thing.

Because this was the right thing for her as well as for him, even if it didn’t feel like it. If her family thought Andrew Yeoh was a good prospect, they were not going to accept Yap Ket Siong as a substitute. He knew how much their opinion mattered to her. He might wish it mattered less, but how could things be otherwise?

For all that their families were polar opposites, at the end of the day, it was for Renee as it was for him. Family was a bond that could be stretched or twisted, resisted or negotiated, but it could not be severed.

She would make the same decision, if she knew the full story. But that didn’t make Ket Siong feel any better. He couldn’t tell her the full story. He’d promised his brother. He had to keep his family safe.

To his relief, Renee said, “I’ll get out of your hair.” She sounded lost, but when he glanced at her despite himself, she rallied, trying for a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow at Pret?”

Ket Siong recognised this as an out. A chance to pretend nothing had happened, to go back to how they were before.

It was more of an out than Renee realised. It would be straightforward to do a slow fade on her from there—stop turning up for meetups, ignore her texts. But she deserved better from him.

The idea was unbearable anyway. Ket Siong needed to make a clean break, so he could lick his wounds in peace.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.

If it were Renee saying these things to Ket Siong, after what had passed between them, he would have slunk home with his tail between his legs. He would have hung his head and never raised it again.

But Renee was made of stronger stuff. She said, her voice hardly trembling, “Why not? Do you not want to hang out anymore?”

Ket Siong repeated, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

He sounded like a robot that had broken down and could only repeat the single line it had been programmed with. He felt like a broken-down robot. There must be more he could offer her, something he could do that would make this less awful, but his mind was blank.

“Right.” Renee lifted her chin. “You can’t blame a girl for asking.”

Her tone was light, though there were tears in her eyes. Ket Siong had never loved her more.

“I’ll get going,” she said.

Ket Siong glanced at the window. It was dark outside. He knew he should keep his mouth shut, but he said, “I’ll come with you.”

“No,” said Renee. Her voice was gentle, but she now seemed infinitely distant, removed. “Let’s not do that.”

“You should get a cab. Don’t walk home.”

Renee had put down the takeaway while she pulled on her trainers. Her face twisted.

If she cried, thought Ket Siong, he would have to hug her. No one could blame him for that.

But she didn’t cry.

“Don’t worry, Ket Siong,” she said. “I’ll sort myself out.” She took her keys and her clothes and the bún bowl and the can of grass jelly drink he’d got her, and headed off alone into the night.