Page 187 of The Forbidden Note

“Then what? Are you saying you want to be with an eighteen-year-old?”

“I’m saying that I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. And even if I was, I’ll find someone myself.”

“I can’t trust your decisions. You clearly have terrible judgement.”

“Maybe I got that from you,” I snap.

I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth.

Mom goes completely still.

The stab of guilt in my chest turns into a giant icicle, shooting out of my heart and splintering into a thousand pieces.

Her eyes skate between mine, deeply offended. “What isthatsupposed to mean?”

Our emotions are running high and the tension is about to snap, but I can’t let this opportunity go by without warning her.

“Jarod Cross. Something isn’t right about him, mom.”

Instantly, her lips tighten and it’s like watching someone barricading a window for a hurricane. Totally shutting down.

“You told me not to be like those girls who fell for guys because they had money and no character, but what did you do? You fell for someone much worse than any of the guys who used to hit on me.”

“Jarod Cross isnothinglike those low-rate thugs in our old neighborhood,” mom snaps.

“Why? Because he’s white?”

Mom rolls her eyes. “This has nothing to do with race! Jarod is a respected musician, a philanthropist, and an advocate for the arts. Hehappensto be rich and I’m sure people hate him just because of his money.”

“Mom, if you hear what he’s done…”

“I willnotlisten to rumors.” Her eyes are angry and bulging.

“You’ve been married to him for almost a year. Love? Commitment? Friendship? Do you have any of those? He barely looks at you. Barely spends time at home. He never calls you or checks on you. He’s no better than a ghost.”

“He’s busy!”

“What about that night?” I hiss. “You saw the way he treated his sons. You heard him threaten me.”

Her throat bobs and she glances away. “It wasn’t a threat.”

“Is that what you think? Truly?”

Mom throws her arm up, getting louder. It’s what she does when she can’t win an argument. She tries to talk over anyone who disagrees.

“What is this sudden vendetta against Jarod? You were fine with him until you got so close to Zane.” She slices a furious look down the corridor. “Those boys are influencing you in the wrong ways, Grey. Since you started hanging out with them, you’ve become rude and disrespectful to your parents, and you’ve started a perverse relationship with your step-brother.” She stops, collects herself and then says, “If you care about me at all, you’ll go on the date.”

“I’m sorry, mom. I love you. I will always love you, but you don’t control me.”

Her look of shock is quickly eclipsed by anger. “From the looks of it, you don’t know how to control yourself!” Spittle flies from her mouth and I can see her eyes turning red. “A kid in high school is bad enough. A student is even worse, but your stepbrother? Your brother, Grace. Why? How could you do something so horrific?”

I don’t point out that Zane is eighteen.

That I didn’t know it at the time.

That he wasn’t my stepbrother then.

I don’t have any words to defend myself. No armor. No defense. I’m holding my own conscience together with the desperate belief that I truly did my best to resist him.