Page 7
Story: The Fallen
Manic. Hysteric. Filled with joy and wonder. The sound is unfettered and free as it bounces around my room.
A loud knock soon brings me to my senses as I right my clothing and pad my way over to the door. As I crack it open, I note the Abbess standing there, her warm eyes drawn in with concern.
“Mother Superior had to leave on an urgent errand and asked for me to look in on you. I heard the strangest noise just now. Almost like laughter?”
With a huge grin, I throw the door open and dance away. “Yes, laughter. I am feeling far better.”
“That’s good. You sound-” As she slips in through the doorway, she stops and looks about. Her eyes widen as her breath quickens. With trembling fingers, she crosses herself and looks at me. “What have you done?”
I sit down on the edge of my bed and smile as languid tranquility washes over me like waves lapping at a beach. “I merely found the cause of my ailments and I am finally at peace. The Lord showed me-”
“He did nothing of the kind,” she screeches, storming over to me and grabbing my wrist.
With a quick jerk, she hauls me to my feet and drags me toward the door. I do my best to resist, but she’s somehow far stronger than I am, though she is an omega herself.
Pursing my lips into a frown, I claw at her fingers, doing my best to wrench myself free. “Where are you taking me?”
“The apothecary,” she spits out, but doesn’t elaborate.
Stunned, I follow her, unsure of what’s going on. Perhaps I was wrong about everything. This must have indeed been a sin for her to treat me with such contempt. Unfortunately, she remains silent, neither confirming nor denying my thoughts.
When we get to the small room off the corner stairs, she shoves me in and forces me to a chair. “You will do what the Sister says, and when you are done, you must go to Father Draven for confession. He is the only one who can give you absolution now. You are out of my hands.”
As she whirls around and slams the door, all the euphoria I felt earlier dissipates, drawn up and away from my body as if floating to the heavens. Alone. So very alone.
Curling into myself, I wait until a doddering older woman eases her way inside. Based on the grim set of her lips, I’m sure she knows exactly what I’ve done. Hanging my head in shame, I stay silent as she looks over her bottles and potions.
“Tell me, child. What education has your convent instilled upon you in the ways of omegas and their bodies?”
“N- nothing, Sister. I was merely taught to keep myself clean and humble before God. But little else.”
“I see. And were you given any pills to take when you reached maturity? You are old enough to be in puberty, are you not?”
“I am nineteen. So please tell me, for I am unsure.”
With a soft nod of her head, she goes back to her bottles. “And has your heat come upon you yet?”
“A heat? I- Well, I was warm earlier.”
“That is not what I mean, child,” she chuckles, pulling away to sniff at me. “You do not smell as if you’re nearing it, so we may have caught you at just the right time. In your convent, a heat might be rare, seeing as you are not in the presence of an Alpha. But they still should have provided a suppressant for your safety and the safety of others. It was imprudent to send you away from your cloister so ill-prepared.”
“Forgive me, Sister. But I do not understand what you mean by all of it.”
She pats my arm with her wizened, weathered fingers. “And just as well. There is less temptation when you know nothing of the pleasures of the flesh.” Her nose wrinkles as she pulls away. “Well, I suppose it’s no longer nothing, seeing as you have very well admitted what you were doing behind your doors.”
“Is it really so very bad?”
“Any act of a sexual nature breaks your vow of celibacy. As far as how bad it is, that is up to the Father Confessor to decide. However, you will not see him until I watch you take this pill. Every day you must take it. We all do. The last thing we need is to drive away our priest by causing him to sin. Come now. This should also take away some of the baser urges you might have running through your body.”
The pill she hands me is small, far tinier than what I expect, given how she is waxing poetic. If this will take away my urges, then perhaps I’ll feel relief without the sin. Truly, it’s the only thing that makes sense as to why they are all so happy here without giving in to what is apparently a lust of the flesh.
My lips tremble as I take the glass of water and swallow the pill down. With the way the older Sister studies me, I open my mouth and stick out my tongue, showing her I have indeed done as she commanded.
“I trust you, child. I know you’re a good girl. Remember to take these daily without fail. Missing even one day will put you and the Father Confessor at risk.”
She never explains herself, never tells me what danger we are in. In many ways, it’s unfair. How am I to combat evil when I do not even know its face? On the other hand, I suppose it makes resisting temptation all the easier when you know nothing of the allure.
Sliding the bottle into my pocket, I make my way to the base of the stairs where the Abbess waits for me. “You will change into something more appropriate to meet the Father Confessor. He is not to see you so casually.”
A loud knock soon brings me to my senses as I right my clothing and pad my way over to the door. As I crack it open, I note the Abbess standing there, her warm eyes drawn in with concern.
“Mother Superior had to leave on an urgent errand and asked for me to look in on you. I heard the strangest noise just now. Almost like laughter?”
With a huge grin, I throw the door open and dance away. “Yes, laughter. I am feeling far better.”
“That’s good. You sound-” As she slips in through the doorway, she stops and looks about. Her eyes widen as her breath quickens. With trembling fingers, she crosses herself and looks at me. “What have you done?”
I sit down on the edge of my bed and smile as languid tranquility washes over me like waves lapping at a beach. “I merely found the cause of my ailments and I am finally at peace. The Lord showed me-”
“He did nothing of the kind,” she screeches, storming over to me and grabbing my wrist.
With a quick jerk, she hauls me to my feet and drags me toward the door. I do my best to resist, but she’s somehow far stronger than I am, though she is an omega herself.
Pursing my lips into a frown, I claw at her fingers, doing my best to wrench myself free. “Where are you taking me?”
“The apothecary,” she spits out, but doesn’t elaborate.
Stunned, I follow her, unsure of what’s going on. Perhaps I was wrong about everything. This must have indeed been a sin for her to treat me with such contempt. Unfortunately, she remains silent, neither confirming nor denying my thoughts.
When we get to the small room off the corner stairs, she shoves me in and forces me to a chair. “You will do what the Sister says, and when you are done, you must go to Father Draven for confession. He is the only one who can give you absolution now. You are out of my hands.”
As she whirls around and slams the door, all the euphoria I felt earlier dissipates, drawn up and away from my body as if floating to the heavens. Alone. So very alone.
Curling into myself, I wait until a doddering older woman eases her way inside. Based on the grim set of her lips, I’m sure she knows exactly what I’ve done. Hanging my head in shame, I stay silent as she looks over her bottles and potions.
“Tell me, child. What education has your convent instilled upon you in the ways of omegas and their bodies?”
“N- nothing, Sister. I was merely taught to keep myself clean and humble before God. But little else.”
“I see. And were you given any pills to take when you reached maturity? You are old enough to be in puberty, are you not?”
“I am nineteen. So please tell me, for I am unsure.”
With a soft nod of her head, she goes back to her bottles. “And has your heat come upon you yet?”
“A heat? I- Well, I was warm earlier.”
“That is not what I mean, child,” she chuckles, pulling away to sniff at me. “You do not smell as if you’re nearing it, so we may have caught you at just the right time. In your convent, a heat might be rare, seeing as you are not in the presence of an Alpha. But they still should have provided a suppressant for your safety and the safety of others. It was imprudent to send you away from your cloister so ill-prepared.”
“Forgive me, Sister. But I do not understand what you mean by all of it.”
She pats my arm with her wizened, weathered fingers. “And just as well. There is less temptation when you know nothing of the pleasures of the flesh.” Her nose wrinkles as she pulls away. “Well, I suppose it’s no longer nothing, seeing as you have very well admitted what you were doing behind your doors.”
“Is it really so very bad?”
“Any act of a sexual nature breaks your vow of celibacy. As far as how bad it is, that is up to the Father Confessor to decide. However, you will not see him until I watch you take this pill. Every day you must take it. We all do. The last thing we need is to drive away our priest by causing him to sin. Come now. This should also take away some of the baser urges you might have running through your body.”
The pill she hands me is small, far tinier than what I expect, given how she is waxing poetic. If this will take away my urges, then perhaps I’ll feel relief without the sin. Truly, it’s the only thing that makes sense as to why they are all so happy here without giving in to what is apparently a lust of the flesh.
My lips tremble as I take the glass of water and swallow the pill down. With the way the older Sister studies me, I open my mouth and stick out my tongue, showing her I have indeed done as she commanded.
“I trust you, child. I know you’re a good girl. Remember to take these daily without fail. Missing even one day will put you and the Father Confessor at risk.”
She never explains herself, never tells me what danger we are in. In many ways, it’s unfair. How am I to combat evil when I do not even know its face? On the other hand, I suppose it makes resisting temptation all the easier when you know nothing of the allure.
Sliding the bottle into my pocket, I make my way to the base of the stairs where the Abbess waits for me. “You will change into something more appropriate to meet the Father Confessor. He is not to see you so casually.”