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Hannah snorted, and he burst into laughter. He fell back onto the sofa, and she was immediately on him. She climbed into his arms, he kissed the top of her head, and together they laughed at the stupid things they said, knowing now that this marriage was exactly what they both wanted.

Words were meaningless, but actions mattered, and the action that had just occurred… there was little chance this marriage would be ending anytime soon.

Surely not.

Chapter Nineteen

They lay on the sofa together, wrapped in one another’s arms. With the vigor and intensity of what had just happened behind them, it might have looked to anyone watching that things had finally returned to normal. And in a way, they had. The anger was behind them. What needed to be said had been said. It was a perfect chance for the two to move forward, and yet…

The silence gave Frederick a chance to consider and contemplate what had just happened and what it might mean. Not the fight, not the insults. Rather, it was the action that haunted him, and what it might mean going forward.

He had finished inside Hannah for the first time, something which he swore he would not do. For all his talk of not wanting to touch her, it was but a symptom of a larger cause. Touching meant closeness, which would lead to love, which would inevitably lead to what had just happened. A normal enough affair for a husband and wife, but in Frederick’s mind, it was cataclysmic.

He shifted uncomfortably—Hannah’s head rested on his chest—as if trying to separate himself from her without actually doing so. He loved the feel of her body against his, the sound of her breathing, the scent of her hair. He knew deep down that he was happy and that there was no need to feel what he was feeling. But still, he could not escape the feeling that he had done something wrong.

Hannah must have felt him tense up, for she shifted and sat up to look at him, her expression etched with concern.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he responded simply.

“You seem tense, is all.”

“I am not.”

“Is it the sofa? We can move to our bedroom if you would prefer? It is a little snug here.” She laughed.

“No, the sofa is fine.”

Her brow furrowed as she studied him, knowing something was wrong but not knowing whether she should push or not.

“Alright…” Slowly, she settled back down on his chest. “Just making sure.”

There was something wrong. Yes, what they had hurled at each other in the heat of anger might have been exaggerated, but there was truth behind it still. An indication of Hannah’s true feelings and what she expected from this marriage. Only spoken about once, back when they had both agreed that this marriage was purely one of convenience, it was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

Frederick wondered if he should do just that, to see how long he could go on pretending. Or if he should bring it up now and then strike it down so that there would be no confusion.

The guilt roiled inside him. But a voice in the back of his head cried for him to keep his mouth shut and enjoy the moment. But unfortunately, and ironically, his feelings for Hannah meant that he could not. She needed to know how he felt, and it really was that simple.

“Hannah,” he began awkwardly. “May I ask you something?”

“Anything. You know that.”

“We have spoken of it once before but have not touched on the topic since. And with what just happened…” He exhaled. “I think we must revisit it again.”

“Alright…”

He could feel her tense up as she lay on top of him, bracing herself for what she knew would not be a pleasant conversation.

“It is about…” He took a deep, calming breath. “It is about starting a family.”

A beat as she registered his meaning. “Oh?”

“I told you weeks ago, when this marriage was first arranged, that I had no interest in starting a family. And at the time, you said that you were of the same mind. I just want to confirm that…” He clicked his tongue, for no matter how he said it, it would not come out right. “That you still feel the same way. That you have no interest in starting a family.”

As expected, she did not answer right away. In fact, he could feel her pull away slightly. Confusion, she must be feeling, for what had just happened suggested the very opposite of what he had just said. But then again, that was why he felt the need to bring it up.

“I…” She hesitated. “I am not sure.”