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I waited for Takkan to get angry, for his pride to overwhelm his senses, the way it had when I’d run out on him a year ago.

But he was quiet, and though his shoulders had gone rigid, he didn’t stir from my side. “If you’re going to say something like that,” he said at last, “I think I deserve a better explanation.”

I’d never been a coward, but I felt like one now. My back was to Takkan. I couldn’t even summon the courage to face him properly.

Didn’t you used to say fear is a game? Kiki had scolded me this morning. You win by playing, not by running away. Which is what you’d be doing if you don’t tell him.

She was right.

I stared down at my scarred hands. “I saw you die,” I admitted at last, in my smallest voice. “The Tears of Emuri’en showed Bandur killing you on Lapzur.”

Takkan turned me slowly by the shoulders. “That’s why you want to break the betrothal. That’s why you want me to leave.”

“Yes.” A pause. “Will you?”

“No,” Takkan said, as though he couldn’t believe I’d ask such a thing.

“You have to leave,” I said. “Bandur knows you’re my weakness. He’ll kill you!”

“No,” Takkan said again in a steely tone. He took a breath. “Do you know what it was like for me, staying behind when you left for Ai’long? Every day wondering whether I’d ever see you again. After an entire winter of not hearing your voice and not being able to see your face, I wanted to hear you laugh. I wanted to…”

“To what?”

Ever so tenderly, he brushed aside the hair at my temple and tucked the strands of silver behind my ears. His eyes were on mine the entire time, causing my cheeks to burn and my nerves to tingle. If he kissed me right now, I’d make us—no, the entire courtyard—fly, and then the ministers really would arrest me. But he let go and settled his hand on the earth, so close to mine that I could feel the electricity between our fingers.

“You aren’t a bird in a cage, Shiori. Neither am I. I’m coming with you.”

“I didn’t say you—”

“I appreciate that you’re afraid for me, because now I know to take every caution.” He narrowed the space between us, just an inch. “So…when do we leave?”

I gave him an arch look. “I still didn’t say you could come. You’d be too heavy for my brothers to carry, anyway.”

“You could turn me into a crane.”

“Absolutely not!” I gawked at him. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I do. You’ll have to tie me up if you want me to stay in Gindara. I’ll not stand by and watch you put yourself in danger, Shiori, not ever again. Whether I am your husband, your betrothed, or simply your friend.”

“You’re impossible,” I said, harrumphing. “Fine. If you want to come, I won’t stop you. But I’m not turning you into a crane.”

“Very well,” Takkan conceded. He’d won, and he was trying hard not to smile.

“You aren’t to be recklessly brave,” I went on. “If you get yourself killed, I’ll never forgive you. Do you understand?”

“Does the same rule apply to you?”

I huffed. “I’m naturally reckless.”

“And I’m naturally brave.”

“Takkan!”

“I promise,” he said, serious now. “But it’s rather selfish, don’t you think, to make me swear when you will not? I need you too, Shiori.”

I need you. A sea of heat came over me, scorching away any retort I might have mustered. Gods, he was going to be the doom of me. “All right, I promise.”

“Good,” said Takkan. He pulled from his cloak a small package that fit neatly in his palm. “There’s another reason I wanted to see you today.”