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“Bacon and eggs. There’s flour for biscuits!” My facade drops into a pout. “If I knew how to make them, there would be.”
His hand lands lightly on my shoulder as he brushes past sending fire into my chest with his touch. “I’m sure there’s a cookbook around somewhere.” His back stretches and flexes as he opens the cupboards above the oven. “Hey, there’s a bunch of canned stuff up here. Looks like chicken soup. Want some?”
Him and food. When I’m not actively needing to heal, I don’t get as hungry. “I’m fine. Too bad the stove doesn’t work.”
He gives me a marvelous view of his ass as he bends over to inspect it. “This is wood fired. Shit, this place is so perfect.”
The lump that forms in my throat makes it hard to swallow.
I have to leave tomorrow.
Wandering back to the master bedroom, I find the bookshelf filled with how-to’s. If I’m going to be on my own soon, I might as well study. It keeps me from having to pretend I’m in a happy mood.
Light fades from the windows, but I read until I can’t make out the words anymore. I’ve just slapped the cover closed when Michael appears in the doorway, a flickering candle in his hand. “Thought you could use this.”
I hate him for being so nice.
“Explain to me like I’m stupid. Why do I have to leave when there’s plenty of room here? I can learn to cook and I’m getting better at tying knots.” I’m tempted to make him drag me out of this chair kicking and screaming. “I get the fact you aren’t interested in me, but we could be roomies.”
His long exhale makes the flame jump as he sets it on the shelf next to me. Shadows cover his face when he sits on the edge of the bed.
I can’t see his expression, but he’s quiet for a long time.
“It isn’t like that.” His hands tighten on his knees. “The rest of the pack will be arriving soon. There are—”A long inhale. “—rules they have. Instincts I think is the easiest way to put it. You won’t be safe.”
“What the fuck does that mean, Fido? A doggie law is why I have to go?” The wolves have all respected me. I think they even like me.
His elbows rest on his thighs as he leans forward just far enough a little of the weak light reveals the furrow in his brow. “I don’t know how to say this.”
The pause is killing me.
“English, Michael. That’s a good way. Sheesh, just spit it out. I’m a big girl, but very confused right now.” He brings out these violent urges in me. I don’t know if I want to kick him or jump on him.
“Fine. You’re a single woman. Unattached females aren’t allowed in the pack. They’re either claimed by one, or…” As he trails off, the intent is clear.
Used.
“Then just tell them I’m yours.” Simple fix.
The silhouette of his head shakes. “It isn’t by words, Hope. It’s by scent.”
I almost choke, I’m laughing so hard. “So, I just gotta rub up on a guy and I’m good? Wanna dance?” My feet unfold from the chair as I stand, moving between him and the candle so we’re both bathed in darkness.
For a moment, his low laugh matches mine. But, he doesn’t take my hand. “I’d gladly do-si-do if that’s all it took. It’s the smell that exudes from the woman after she’s been, um. Well,mated.” He props himself away from me, leaning back on the bed. Only his eyes catch the glow with a feral reflection.
That rocks me back on my heels. “So, the only way I can stay is if I get fucked. And… you don’t want me. Do you have someone already?” That has to be the explanation why he has fended off all of my obvious advances.
“There’s no one else.” His words sting. “I’m just, well. It’s too dangerous to be with me.”
I feel like an idiot.
The recliner is still warm from where I left it. Wrapping my arms around my legs doesn’t ease the pain of his refusal. Cutting off my foot would heal faster than this ache that grips my chest.
People are dangerous. There was a possibility here, with him.
Shoving my knuckles into my eyes doesn’t stave the tears that sneak down my wrists. They just send stars into the void behind my lids that explode with my hope of safety.
Happiness. Freedom.