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Story: The Cowboy Who Came Home
“I love you too, Finn. I’m so sorry I?—”
He stole her apology with his lips, the kiss between them sweet for the first stroke and then turning passionate as the familiar fire between them blazed to life and she did the only thing Finn ever wanted—she kissed him back.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“You’re looking good today, Edith,” Doctor Bull said.
Edith crossed her legs and looked out the third-story window that overlooked the pastures, paddocks, and fields here at Three Rivers Ranch. “I feel good,” she said.
“Something’s changed.”
She finally turned to face the doctor, though she’d done sessions with her gaze out the window before. “Yeah,” she said. “I’ve changed.”
Doctor Bull smiled too and tapped the end of his pen against his knee. “Tell me about it.”
Edith hadn’t even told Finn or Alex about her experiences in the past couple of weeks, but she supposed that was why she came to therapy. To open the doors inside herself that let out the most vulnerable version of Edith Baxter.
“It wasn’t even anything earth-shattering,” she said.
“Last time, you told me you’d told Finn you needed a break, and he thought that meant you wanted to break-up.”
She nodded her agreement. “I didn’t want to break up, though. We’ve been talking. I’ve been really trying to find myself, and figure out the version of myself I’m supposed to be with Finn. Like, is it the same Edith as who loved Levi?” She shook her head, because a lot of her journaling and inner thoughts didn’t make sense, not even to her.
“And is she?” Doctor Bull asked.
Edith shook her head. “I think people are ever-changing,” she said. “You can’t ever land on a single version of yourself. And one thing I felt deeply just this morning is that God loves me exactly how I am right now, and how I was last night, and how I was this morning, and how I’ll be tonight, tomorrow, next week, and month, and forever.”
Her voice choked, and Edith glanced back out to the fields, expecting Doctor Bull to give her a moment.
She should’ve known better, because this was Doctor Bull. He said, “So you know you’re lovable now,” and he wasn’t asking.
Edith nodded, and when she found the emotional strength to look back at him again, she found him smiling. “I’m really glad, Edith,” he said quietly. “How did Reagan take the news?”
She brightened. “He’s so patient with me,” she said. “He refuses to go right when I want him to, so I let him go left all day today.” Edith half-laughed and shook her head. “But he listens to me. He knows Finn and I got back together and we’re going to get married in April.”
Doctor Bull’s eyebrows went up. “Is that right?”
“Yeah.” Edith ducked her head then, the same outpouring of love she’d felt that morning in her kitchen, then again in Finn’s arms beside his truck, flowing through her again. “And you know what, Doctor Bull? I have to thank you.”
“Me?” He chuckled. “I have to say, I was not expecting that. You’ve not been very…warm to me.”
Edith wasn’t surprised her coolness toward him had shown. “I know, but you asked me really hard questions.” She swallowed but decided she had to keep going. “I actually blamed you a little bit for what happened with Finn.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah,” she said. “You kept pressing me on if I was lovable, and I didn’t think I was. Certainly not by someone like Finn, who suddenly felt like a Levi-replacement.”
Doctor Bull quirked that right eyebrow that she hated. “Do you still think Finn is a Levi-replacement?”
She shook her head. “No,” she murmured. “I know now how unending love is. I know that it has no bounds. I know that I can love Levi the way I did, and I can love Finn the same. More. Better, because he’s here, and he loves me too.”
Doctor Bull grinned and grinned, and he finally put his pen on his desk. “This is all great to hear, Edith.”
She thought so too, and she focused outside on the pastures again. A group therapy session had started, and she watched as Pete walked along with five people and five horses, talking to them as he did.
“I love it here,” Edith said as she breathed out. “Do you love it here, Doctor Bull?” She found him looking out the window too.
“Yeah,” he said. “I really do love it here.” He took in a long breath and then slowly exhaled it. “And you say Reagan will only go left? That’s so fascinating, because for me, he only goes right.”
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