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“Might have to test that out,” I tell her. “When you told me you’d fuck me up, I didn’t realize you meant literally kicking my ass.”
“Stop flattering me.”
Billie scoots back and leans against the couch, mesmerized by the fire, and I sit next to her. We settle together on the plush rug. The crackle of firewood fills the silence between us. Billie leans against me, her head resting comfortably on my shoulder, fingers tracing patterns on my thigh.
“Tell me about your relationship with Eden,” she says, staring into the flames.
My heart clenches, as I know the two of them were friends. I hesitate only briefly before speaking, my voice thick with memories. “She was the best sister anyone could have. Brilliant. Honest. Happy. She wanted the best for me. And I loved how she made everyone around her feel special, like they could do anything. Eden was sunshine, wrapped in strength.”
Billie’s fingers pause. “I’m sorry you lost her, Asher. After it happened, I wanted to talk to you, but …”
“I know. I was in a bad place. There are days when I still blame myself,” I admit quietly. “She called me that night and asked me to meet her, but I was too caught up in work and my own shit. I thought it could wait. I thought we’d have tomorrow. I didn’t know …” My voice trails off, heavy with regret.
Billie gently turns my face to meet hers. “You didn’t know. That’s not your fault.”
“I could’ve answered the call,” I say. “If I had, maybe she’d still be here. Maybe that fuck who was driving drunk would’ve crashed into a building instead of the car she was in. My decision could’ve changedeverything.”
Her eyes fill with empathy. “Ash, I’m so sorry.”
I nod. “It’s why it’s so important for us to cherish every minute. The now is all we have.”
Thunder roars overhead.
“I’m so grateful you’re with meright now,” she whispers.
We stare back at the wood.
“Sometimes, I feel her. Like she’s pushing me to do things. Or I’ll ask myself in certain situations,What would Eden do?I miss her a lot. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same,” I whisper, my words raw and painful.
She threads her fingers through mine, gripping tightly. “You honor her every day by living your best life. That’s what she would want for you. She’d be so proud.”
Emotion thickens my throat, and I nod silently, breathing in her comfort. This wasn’t a conversation I expected to have, but it’s healing to talk about Eden. Usually, everyone avoids the conversation. Everyone except Nick. He misses her as much as I do.
We sit quietly for several moments, leaning against the couch, stretching our legs before us.
“Who was your first love?” I ask.
Billie laughs gently, and her cheeks transform into a rosy pink. “Besides Max Holly?”
I smirk. “Besides that nerd.”
She hesitates, sighing. “I’d say Josh was my first real love. My fling with Louis was never serious. Neither of us saw one another that way. With Josh, I almost imagined a future with him. I don’t think I was ever truly in love though. It felt like a business relationship with mediocre sex.” Her voice lowers. “Itneverfelt like this. It never felt like kissing Max Holly.”
Her gaze is vulnerable and honest.
My pulse quickens. I tilt her chin upward, our lips nearly touching.
“Fuck, princess.”
Our mouths meet and tenderness bleeds into something far more passionate. My hands roam down her body, and I memorize every curve of hers as her fingers slide under my T-shirt. The firelight flickers warmly across her face, illuminating the desire in her eyes.
“If we cross this line, we can never take it back,” I warn.
“I don’t want to.” Her eyes meet mine with certainty. “You’re who I want.”
Billie’s soft lips trace my jaw, the sweet torture of her touch making my heart pound wildly.
The storm outside grows louder, rain hammering against the windows, matching the fierce rhythm of my heartbeat.