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He thought about the end of his first marriage, trying to pinpoint the reason it was over. It was an embarrassment of riches. Just not the good kind.
“So many things,” he said. But he stuck to the highlights.
“In addition to the drinking, Ekaterina was fond of drugs. Lots of Ecstasy and other party drugs. I dabbled, but I wasn’t that into it.”
“Waking up married after too much drink might have soured you,” she said philosophically.
“You have no idea,” he agreed. “Sobriety had more appeal after that. I cut everything out but alcohol.”
“That explains a lot.”
“I’m sorry,” he said and meant it. “I don’t mean for this prejudice to affect you. I hate seeing you in pain and I know that you need the medication.”
Emma nestled in his arms, getting more comfortable. “I don’t like that it bothers you so much.”
“It’s my issue, Em, not yours. Please continue to do what is best for you. I want you to take your pills whenever you need them. But I also want to make sure that they are the best option available.”
“I get it. You’re worried I’ll become an addict because you’ve seen someone go down that path before.”
It had been far too late for that. “Ekaterina was already an addict before I met her. But she hid it under a lot of glitz. And what she didn’t—well, her wealth absolved a multitude of sins.”
“Wow.” Emma blinked up at him. “That sounds… messy.”
“It’s not a pleasant tale,” he said, leaning in to smell her lemony shampoo. Talking about this usually made him feel soiled, used, but being with Emma felt cleansing. That was the miracle of her.
With Emma, there were no unspoken expectations. Even with her health issues, she didn’t make unreasonable demands. In fact, her independence meant he had to chase her, to ensure she leaned on him when she needed help.
But even that wasn’t a drain. Their relationship renewed him.
If he hadn’t already married her, he would propose right then and there.
“A few months in, I realized I was not a husband. I was Ekaterina’s caretaker, her fixer, and her cleanup crew.”
Another woman’s sympathy would have grated. But coming from Emma, it was a healing balm. “That must have been disappointing.”
“At the time it felt more like…” He stared into the distance. “A suitable punishment.”
Emma sat up. “How so?” she asked.
He was never going to live this down. “Well, it may have reinforced some stupid ideas I had at the time on the trustworthiness of women and letting your guard down around them. These are things I do not currently believe. At all.”
“Ah. I’m sorry.” She reached out to stroke his cheek, automatically absolving his past idiot self. He leaned against her like the damn cat staring and judging him from the foot of the bed.
Garrett needed to figure out a way to keep that animal out of their bedroom.
“Don’t be sorry. I learned a lot from Andreas. And even though Ekaterina frustrated the hell out of me, I don’t hate her or bear her any ill will. But even after rehab and counseling, she showed no signs ofmaturing. I didn’t want to be responsible for her my whole life. Especially after what happened in Mykonos.”
Her eyes widened. “That sounds ominous.”
“Only a little,” he said, downplaying what had been a monumentally triggering episode for him.
“You see, I was working on a project with her father. I didn’t officially work for him, but he was pleased with how I’d handled some smaller things and wanted to see if I could play in the big leagues. It was the most complicated negotiation I’d ever taken charge of at that point. There were multiple parties with conflicting interests and huge profit potential.”
“So, basically, Garrett’s wet dream?”
He laughed so hard she winced because he’d jostled her head too much.
He stopped immediately, stroking her hair. “Oh, I’m sorry, baby!” he said, pitching his voice low to avoid adding to her pain.