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“Why don’t you call one of the roster boys? You’ve got a list of them in waiting.”

“Umm… no. The roster has only boy scouts. I want a big, rough and tough guy. Someone no one will dare question.”

“You and me both.” I roll my eyes. “Did I say that out loud?”

“You did.” She smiles and leans in. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” I laugh under my breath as I try to figure out how to put my feelings into words. “Aaron is a good guy, he’s just…”

“Boring, emotionally unavailable, predictable… should I keep going?” She takes a sip of coffee and sets the cup back on the counter.

“He’s just very regimented.”

“Transactional, you mean.”

“Transactional?”

“Yeah, like he does the things you need him to do on a schedule because he knows that’s the price he pays to be in the relationship, instead of having any kind of passion.”

I’ve never heard of this concept before. “Yeah, but I don’t know... maybe it’s not transactional. Maybe it’s something else. Maybe he wants to connect, but he doesn’t know how.”

She tilts her head to the side as she swallows down another bite of flaky pastry. I’ve known Sienna for about five years now, and she’s always been a very straightforward person. Some days, it’s nice. Others, it’s hard to swallow. “I don’t know about that,” she sighs. “I’ve seen the way you two interact. Sure, heremembers your birthday, never forgets to ask how your day went, and he kisses you when he sees you, but does he have the passion you’re looking for?” She clears her throat and glances away before leaning in. “I love you, but you’re stuck. I get it. I used to be stuck, too. Guys like Aaron look good on paper, but in reality, you’re left wondering why he doesn’t see how badly you need to be bent over and fucked like some wild animal. I mean, when was the last time you saw him do anything spontaneous?”

I shrug. I’ve known the man for nearly two years, and I’ve got nothing. “Well, he did order a different salad dressing at lunch on Sunday. Even the waitress was confused.”

“Groundbreaking!” Sienna says, plastering an exaggerated smile.

I huff out a laugh, shaking my head. “He’s stable. I should appreciate that. The last thing I want is some asshole who’s wild and fun but spends every night at the bar.”

“Stable is great… for houseplants. You’re not a houseplant, girl. Plus, he’s not that stable. I mean, he is responsibly steady, but you forgot the part where he’s emotionally inept. You’re complaining about how insensitive he is all the time.”

I drag in a deep breath, thinking back to our last conversation. The one where I asked him to be a little less predictable. Instead of listening, he took it as a personal attack. It spiraled fast. Words sharpened, voices rose, and by the end of it, I was curled up on the couch, crying into the silence while he sat there, unmoved.

Still, for one fleeting second, we felt something.We werealive.

“Babe,” Sienna reaches her hand out for mine, “I get it. I do. My ex was a total nightmare. One second, super sweet and predictable. The next, he was a raging lunatic. It confused me for years. I know you think Aaron isn’t that bad, but looking at youright now, I’d say he’s not good for you, and that’s enough for you to leave.”

“I don’t know what leaving means. What if I don’t know what happy looks like? What if I’ve been lying to myself?”

“I think that’s your answer.” Sienna squeezes my hand. “You should eat another croissant. I find that the flakier the pastry, the clearer my head gets.”

I take her advice and reach for the golden croissant in the back, though I’m not sure that’s going to help much. Lately, not even food is doing the trick. It’s like I’m numb and I can’t feel anything.

“So,” I say, leaning over the box as I take a bite, “who’s the local bad boy you’re bringing to your cousin’s wedding?”

“No idea. I don’t know any bad boys. I guess I have to—”

The bell over the door rings and a giant steps through the frame as though someone somewhere is listening to our prayers. He wears dark faded jeans with tears above one knee, a tight black T-shirt, and a motorcycle cut with patches sewn into the front. I don’t usually see guys like this in here. He looks out of place, but why is my heart slamming against my chest like he’s part human, part feral beast?

Clearly, he’s not here to murder me, right? Truth be told, I might be down for a chase.

He steps into the store, one heavy foot after the other. I should say hello. I say hello to everyone. Why aren’t I saying hello?

“Hi!” I finally manage in a tone that’s much, much, much too bright for the current vibe.

Sienna glares toward me as though I’m an embarrassment, then leans in. “He looks like he’d be trouble. Go talk to him.”

“No!”