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That truly had been his reason.

“But why couldn’t you have said all of this before?” Seph asked through the tailspin of her thoughts.

Alder’s lips tightened, and he unclasped and clasped his hands. “Josephine. If Abecka or her elders had any idea, they never would have risked the people of Velentis. They never would have risked their safety, and with all the rumors circulating about my ties to the depraved, this would have been the proof they’d needed to believe I’d come to lead the depraved straight to their hidden sanctuary.”

“But they might be able to help you, Alder! Certainly Sienne?—”

“No onecan fix this.” He leaned forward, and the fire in his eyes matched the one burning beside them. “Do you think I haven’t tried? Do you think I haven’t investigatedeverypossible solution? I have doneevery damn thingI can think of, but I need a god’s power for this.” There was a moment of quiet between them, and when Alder continued, his voice was softer—warmer, almost. “So you see, perhaps Iamthe selfish ass you accused me of being, because if I cared one whit for anyone else, I would have stayed away. Most importantly, I would stay away fromyou.”

There was something in that last statement and with the way he was looking at her that wrapped around Seph’s entire body like a hot blanket, and made her heart feel too large for her chest, but her thoughts were slow and sluggish, and she suspected her loss of blood was to blame. Alder must’ve seen something shift in her too because he slid his arms off his knees and said, “I’ve kept you awake long enough. I should let you rest. Especially since I’d like to get moving tomorrow…assuming you’re feeling up to it.”

It took Seph a moment to follow his thoughts. “To Velentis?”

“Yes. The other elders will need to know what happened, and we’ve got to figure out what to do with this coat of yours.”

Seph’s head was now beginning to ache. “Where are we, by the way?”

“Deep in the foothills of Boliar. We should be safe for the night. Tyrin has hidden our location with every enchantment he knows, but we still shouldn’t linger.”

Alder looked like he might say more but stood instead.

“Because of the witch?” Seph asked.

Alder didn’t reply.

“I think my”—yawn—“great-grandmother knew who she was.” Seph wanted to talk more, but she was so tired. Exhaustion fell like a cloud over her, turning her thoughts to sludge. Seph started lying down, and Alder’s hands were immediately on her back and shoulders, helping her.

Seph’s eyes were already closed as he said, “Evora has offered her horse to you for tomorrow, should you prefer to ride it instead.”

Seph was confused as to why he was telling her this, and then she understood. She didn’t have a horse, and Alder’s had bolted. But Alder clearly didn’t need a horse. “And you would carry your cousin?”

“Yes.”

Seph didn’t have an answer. It was so hard to think. She heard him shift and imagined he was leaving.

She opened her eyes. “Alder.”

He stopped and glanced back at her.

There was so much to say, but Seph was too tired to say any of it, and so she said the only thing that made sense to her. “As long as it’s not too much trouble, I’d prefer it ifyoucarried me tomorrow.”

He held her gaze, and a small smile touched his lips. “I would be honored, Your Highness.” His gaze lingered on her a moment more before he added, “Now get some rest,” and he slipped out of view.

The next few days of travel back to Velentis passed in a blur of magnificent thunderstorms, sleep (mostly for Seph), and intermittent conversation. Seph caught bits and pieces in her more lucid moments, and they usually revolved around what came next. Abecka had been a lighthouse to them all, illuminating the way forward, and without her, their future seemed bleak. Massie’s witch was so much more than any of them had expected, and the consensus was that they still needed more fighting men and women.

All that to say, Alder had his work cut out for him, and they only had two months left.

There was also the issue of who would lead Light now that she had lost her queen. This topic always ended in silence and subtle glances cast in Seph’s direction.

Seph was far too weary to think on any of it.

The pain in her shoulder was no better, and the blood loss had left her severely weakened.

Alder remained in his stag form as they’d traveled, carrying Seph comfortably atop his long and muscular back. He was uniquely beautiful even as a beast, with his impressive spread of antlers and his exquisite black coat that felt like velvet between her fingers. It was the same color as his actual hair, and Seph wished she’d been able to stay awake long enough in that cave to ask him about his transformation ability. Perhaps a moment would come again soon when they were out of immediate danger.

And to think she’d nearly killed him in the woods to make gloves!

When he took this form, was he still Alder, or was he something different? Was he aware of her legs clenched around his body? Or how sometimes, when she was overcome with exhaustion, she would lay her head against his neck and breathe him in, falling asleep to the rhythmic pounding of his strong heart? His beastly form still smelled like a forest, like wild grasses and thunderstorms.