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Chapter 1 – Jennifer

Romance was in the air, but it wasn't for Jennifer.

Afternoon sunlight streamed in through the trees as Jennifer scaled the last slope, pushing branches out of her face to pursue her friend, Lily, further up the trail.

"You wouldn't believe how romantic he is," Lily said, pushing a lock of her dark brown hair out of her face. "Last night, he booked the whole garden patio on the roof of the Grand Lux Hotel, and we ate under the stars. There were candles, music, oh, you wouldn't believe it."

"That sounds incredible." Jennifer smiled mischievously. "So, did you sleep with him?"

Lily blushed. "After a night like that, what do you think? I always thought I would wait until marriage, but Brandon has been incredible. I couldn't say no to him."

A few months ago, Lily and Jennifer met on a similar hiking trail after Lily twisted her ankle and needed help back to her car. They'd been good friends ever since, to the point where Lily wasn't shy about how many guys she dated, and Jennifer wasn't shy about howfewshe dated. Right now, she just didn't have the time—even coming on this mini getaway with Lily was a stretch, but Jennifer made the exception.

"You two have been together for a few months now, right?" Jennifer said.

"We met when Camella took me out boating at the start of spring." She laughed. "I tripped coming off of the boat, and he caught me. I don't know, maybe it was love at first sight."

They reached the top of the hill where the trees parted into a small clearing, where several picnic benches were set outfor hikers. One of the tables was occupied by a couple and their young daughter, so Jennifer and Lily went to the one closer to the opposite end of the clearing, which overlooked the valley below.

A gorgeous lake glittered in the sunlight, all the way back where their hike began. It seemed so far away, but it had only taken them a few hours to get here. Jennifer grinned when she took in the sight of the vast blue, and then the deep green forests all around the lake. It'd been months since she last went on a hike that she felt the burn in her legs after being on the move for so long. It was nice, though, to forget about everything else that made her life so chaotic ... even if it was just for a few minutes while staring out at the view.

"Tomorrow Brandon and I are going out for dinner again," Lily said as she took a seat at the picnic table. "I'm kind of nervous."

Lily's voice pulled Jennifer from her peaceful concentration on the valley, back to reality where she was single, working two jobs, and stressed out of her mind. Being out here in nature helped ease her nerves, but not by much.

Jennifer joined her at the table, taking their sandwiches out of her pack. "What for? I thought things went well between you last night?"

"Well yeah, but ... doesn't having sex with someone change your relationship with them? Aren't things different after?"

Jennifer thought back to the times she slept with her old boyfriends for the first time, trying to remember what it was like after that first time. With her most recent boyfriend, whom she broke up with a little over a year ago when she had to movefrom Colorado to Oregon, they'd been hot and heavy from the beginning. But even that was so long ago, she wasn't sure.

She shrugged. "For me it never really did. If anything, it was a good change. Ron and I felt closer after the first time, I suppose. Didn't change much in the end."

"Oh, well, that makes me feel a bit better." Lily smiled sheepishly before digging into her lunch.

Jennifer was honestly jealous of Lily. She had the freedom to date as much as she wanted—even if her choice in men was questionable most of the time—and now it seemed like she'd found a genuinely good guy. Meanwhile, Jennifer hadn't gone on a date since moving to Portland. It wasn't because she didn't want to or even that she hadn't tried... it was just a mixture of extremely bad luck and no time.

Last year, her mother, Arabelle, was diagnosed with lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking. Her health had been on the decline for years, but after Arabelle was sick for an extended period of time and went to the hospital, they diagnosed her. The diagnosis was scary in itself, but when Jennifer thought her mom was getting better, things only took a turn for the worse.

Jennifer moved back to Portland shortly after the diagnosis, sacrificing her dream job as a tour guide at the Mesa Verde national park and her budding relationship with Ron to take care of her mom instead. She didn't regret the decision one bit, but it was tough working two jobs just to scrape by paying the minimum on all the medical bills with no end in sight.

The facts were that Arabelle wasn't getting any better. The doctors caught the tumor too late, so they couldn't perform surgery without too much risk. Now they were trying chemo, and some days it seemed like the treatment was working, and other times, Arabelle just seemed worse.

"Now it's your turn to get a boyfriend," Lily said all of a sudden. "Don't give me that look; someone as kind and funny as you deserves love, and pronto."

Jennifer laughed. "I'm not going to argue against that, but what kind of guy wants to date someone who doesn't have time for them?"

"Taking care of your mom is your priority. The right guy will understand. You just have to find him."

"I just don't think I have the energy it takes to look. Not right now."

"Things will turn around sooner rather than later. Trust me."

Jennifer shook her head and finished off her sandwich. Lily looked like she wanted to say more, but thankfully she kept quiet. Right now, Jennifer just didn't have it in her to tell Lily that it just wasn't going to work out. Until her mom was better, she didn't think she would be able to focus on a new relationship at all.

If only Ron had come here with her ... but she didn't blame him for staying behind. She just couldn't help but think about all the 'what if's'. Most of the time, she tried not to think about it. Jennifer loved her mom and wouldn't trade taking care of her for a new relationship in the first place, not until she was better.

Most of the time, Jennifer was okay with her situation. It was just difficult, sometimes, when it seemed like her mom wasn't getting any better.