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When morning came, I left Lizard and Beam together and drove off to surprise her with coffee and some food. I even took her to the nearby diner so she could use the bathroom and wash her face.
When she came back, Taz tackled me, wrapping her arms around my hips and burying her face into my neck.
I sighed and hugged her back, relieved that she was okay.
We went back to the house, parked a few doors down so she could eat, and we could talk. I explained to her what Tex had told me of the remnants of her old team. It seemed as though she was a little relieved the whole team wasn’t out to get her.
Reaching across to her headrest, I massaged the back of her neck until she moaned and closed her eyes.
“I’m exhausted.” She admitted. “I want to get this over with so I can move on with my life.”
Leaning across the midsection, I kissed her shoulder, her cheek then her neck. She sighed and shifted closer to my lips.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you last night.” Taz whispered. “I know—well I get that—shit.”
“Breathe, Taz.” I whispered as I dragged my lips up to her ear. “Even though I have no idea why you’re apologizing.”
“It just seems unfair to you that we’re in this position.” Taz shifted away from my mouth to face me. “That you’re with me and you can’t even have my body at nights.”
“I want your body all the time.” I righted myself in the seat. “But that’s besides the point.”
“Right—you know what I mean.”
“I may be a man, Taz but I’m notthatkind of mind.” I shrugged. “I mean, just because I want your body all the time doesn’t mean you have to give it to meall the time.Life happens.”
“But we’re just starting to figure this out.”
She motioned from herself to me.
I caressed her cheek before easing in to place a tender kiss to her mouth.
“Yes, we’re just starting.” I confirmed. “But life still happens. It sucks, I know—but we’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Smiling, I framed both her cheeks and leaned up to kiss her forehead.
After a silent moment, she fed me a piece of sausage from her food and we sat, staring at the house we should have been watching.
I knew this was hard on her—it was the kind of battle I wanted to fight for her.
But no matter how much it killed me—no matter how much my training mingled with that alpha beast inside, I had to calm myself and let her handle this.
This was her way back to herself.
I didn’t like it, but it was what it was.
All I could do was stand by and watch her get beat down and if she asked for my help—
“Taz?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you know when the time comes to ask for my help?”
“What do you—” She paused for a moment. “As my man, you want to fight all my battles. I understand.”
“And it kills me knowing I can’t. That I have to stand back and watch you get bruised and bloodied and I can’t just wave a magic wand and make it better.”