Page 107
The three auras of the Aurelians areinside my mind –and now I can never get them out.
They’re three huge, powerful beasts – full of such anger and violence – and yet, somehow, they’ve clawed their way into my consciousness. I’ve welcomed the beast into the palace of my mind.
The world crashes down around me. The constant anxiety I’ve lived with since I was a child crushes me like a tidal wave.
The Bond has made all of my senses stronger – and, suddenly, the cacophony of stimulus pushes me down. The water becomes deafening in my ears, and yet even amidst that maelstrom I can hear a small creature scuttling up and down the stairs; perhaps a womp trying to find a spot to hide from the heat, or a rat scuttling from one shadow to the other.
I can heareverything– even the little flies buzzing near the windows where my blood was spilled the day before. Those winged insects are feasting on the dried remains of what was inside my veins just hours earlier.
Even the water and soap deluging down on me can do nothing to hide the individual scent of each Aurelian; soaked into my skin like a scarlet letter.
The world is screaming at my senses. It’s all too much stimulus. I crash down against the floor of the shower cubicle, feeling the weight of my terrible mistake crushing me.
These three men are strangers.
The more I feel of them – the more I learn – the stranger they become.
And yet I’velinkedmyself to them – for the rest of my life. My now massively extended life.
I shiver at the implications – both wonderful and terrible.
For my entire childhood, my mind had been my only escape. Whenever I’d felt anxious or nervous, I’d retreat to my room and dive into my own imagination, thanks to the books I collected and cherished.
Now, my mind is no longer a safe refuge.Theyare insideit.
I swallow hard. My mouth suddenly feels so dry, despite the deluge of water all around me. I force myself to stand up, trying to push back the overwhelming fear, and the water stops the moment I do so. Without uttering a word, it turns to that drying blast of air and I steel myself to the chill; then brushing my teeth and getting ready to face the three men as clean and unsullied as I’ll ever be again.
I unzip the tent and step out. My mouth is as dry as the sun – but I at least feel as if I’ve regained some composure.
Lazar is awake now. The sun kisses his perfect body, pouring through that window I’d once tried to escape from.
I remember how close I felt to Lazar just moments earlier, as we’d slept together in the same bed. I remember how our bodies had fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, and how he’d calmed my anxiety; the anxiety that is now building and building to near-eruption point.
I look around for water – but before I can take another step, Otho tosses me a canteen.
Before I’d have thought ‘it’s as if he can read my mind.’ Now, I know he can do exactly that.
I catch the canteen easily – whereas a day ago, I’d have dropped it for sure; hearing it clatter to the ground.
The world closes in around me. My barely controlled anxiety peaks once again. Otho steps towards me, concern plain on his face and his aura – but I rush away from him, running to the duffel bags near the window instead.
I wrench them open to pull out more dresses I can cannibalize into decency.
Suddenly, I can’t be naked in front of these three Aurelians; despite what we’ve just done together.
I feel soexposed– although I fear it’s not my body that has been left naked and vulnerable. It’s my soul.
I pull dress after dress out from those bags, still shocked at how clueless these Aurelians are about women. If they think women dress in these skimpy, see-through dresses by choice, what other foolish, misogynistic notions do they have in their mixed up, oh-so-alien minds?
They grew up on a world where women were kept in harems. Where the sole purpose of the human female was to serve powerful Aurelian men, and quench their endless desires. They grew up in a society in which women were disposable to them, unless they were their near-legendary ‘Fated Mates.’
These three Aurelians might look at me with adoration; but only because of the lottery of being their Bonded partner. If I was any other girl – just as richly alive, and vibrant with just as many ideas – I’d be disposable to them.
It’s notmethey want. I’m their Fated Mate; and the living, breathing girl attached to that designation is irrelevant to them.
I pull a dress over my head a little too quickly, and I hear the thin material rip. It feels like a metaphor for my life; how everything I try to rush into comes apart at the seams.
Despondent, I slump down on the duffel bags – the full weight of my destiny finally on me.
They’re three huge, powerful beasts – full of such anger and violence – and yet, somehow, they’ve clawed their way into my consciousness. I’ve welcomed the beast into the palace of my mind.
The world crashes down around me. The constant anxiety I’ve lived with since I was a child crushes me like a tidal wave.
The Bond has made all of my senses stronger – and, suddenly, the cacophony of stimulus pushes me down. The water becomes deafening in my ears, and yet even amidst that maelstrom I can hear a small creature scuttling up and down the stairs; perhaps a womp trying to find a spot to hide from the heat, or a rat scuttling from one shadow to the other.
I can heareverything– even the little flies buzzing near the windows where my blood was spilled the day before. Those winged insects are feasting on the dried remains of what was inside my veins just hours earlier.
Even the water and soap deluging down on me can do nothing to hide the individual scent of each Aurelian; soaked into my skin like a scarlet letter.
The world is screaming at my senses. It’s all too much stimulus. I crash down against the floor of the shower cubicle, feeling the weight of my terrible mistake crushing me.
These three men are strangers.
The more I feel of them – the more I learn – the stranger they become.
And yet I’velinkedmyself to them – for the rest of my life. My now massively extended life.
I shiver at the implications – both wonderful and terrible.
For my entire childhood, my mind had been my only escape. Whenever I’d felt anxious or nervous, I’d retreat to my room and dive into my own imagination, thanks to the books I collected and cherished.
Now, my mind is no longer a safe refuge.Theyare insideit.
I swallow hard. My mouth suddenly feels so dry, despite the deluge of water all around me. I force myself to stand up, trying to push back the overwhelming fear, and the water stops the moment I do so. Without uttering a word, it turns to that drying blast of air and I steel myself to the chill; then brushing my teeth and getting ready to face the three men as clean and unsullied as I’ll ever be again.
I unzip the tent and step out. My mouth is as dry as the sun – but I at least feel as if I’ve regained some composure.
Lazar is awake now. The sun kisses his perfect body, pouring through that window I’d once tried to escape from.
I remember how close I felt to Lazar just moments earlier, as we’d slept together in the same bed. I remember how our bodies had fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, and how he’d calmed my anxiety; the anxiety that is now building and building to near-eruption point.
I look around for water – but before I can take another step, Otho tosses me a canteen.
Before I’d have thought ‘it’s as if he can read my mind.’ Now, I know he can do exactly that.
I catch the canteen easily – whereas a day ago, I’d have dropped it for sure; hearing it clatter to the ground.
The world closes in around me. My barely controlled anxiety peaks once again. Otho steps towards me, concern plain on his face and his aura – but I rush away from him, running to the duffel bags near the window instead.
I wrench them open to pull out more dresses I can cannibalize into decency.
Suddenly, I can’t be naked in front of these three Aurelians; despite what we’ve just done together.
I feel soexposed– although I fear it’s not my body that has been left naked and vulnerable. It’s my soul.
I pull dress after dress out from those bags, still shocked at how clueless these Aurelians are about women. If they think women dress in these skimpy, see-through dresses by choice, what other foolish, misogynistic notions do they have in their mixed up, oh-so-alien minds?
They grew up on a world where women were kept in harems. Where the sole purpose of the human female was to serve powerful Aurelian men, and quench their endless desires. They grew up in a society in which women were disposable to them, unless they were their near-legendary ‘Fated Mates.’
These three Aurelians might look at me with adoration; but only because of the lottery of being their Bonded partner. If I was any other girl – just as richly alive, and vibrant with just as many ideas – I’d be disposable to them.
It’s notmethey want. I’m their Fated Mate; and the living, breathing girl attached to that designation is irrelevant to them.
I pull a dress over my head a little too quickly, and I hear the thin material rip. It feels like a metaphor for my life; how everything I try to rush into comes apart at the seams.
Despondent, I slump down on the duffel bags – the full weight of my destiny finally on me.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151