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“You could have fooled me.” I was breathing quickly, and my heart was racing. I hated this boy so much in this moment. I hated him for making me fall for him. I hated him for making me believe things could be different. But mostly, I hated him because, as he stared at me with those deep green eyes, I still wanted him.

It was so messed up.

“Look, just because we can’t be together doesn’t mean I don’t still have feelings for you,” Noah said. “That I’m not going to spend every second of this torturous year thinking about you.” His eyes dipped to look at my lips, and I forgot how to breathe.

The space between us suddenly felt smaller as though we had unconsciously stepped closer together. We were too close now, and the air between us felt electric, like every breath I took was charged with furious desire. How could you hate someone—despise them to the depths of your soul—and still want nothing more than to kiss them?

Noah seemed just as torn. He was scowling darkly at me, but there was a hunger in his gaze that struck me low in my stomach.

“If you want me that badly, then what’s stopping you?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then talk to me,” I pleaded. “Explain it to me, please.”

I paused for a moment, pushing my anger and frustration down just beneath the surface. Although it still bubbled there, I wanted to offer him a chance to give me the answers I needed. The answers I deserved. But he wasn’t looking me in the eyes, and he had the same hopeless expression he’d worn last night right before he turned his back on me.

“I have explained, Isobel,” he whispered. “We just can’t be together. It’s impossible.”

My heart sank. I’d thought it was already at rock bottom, but apparently it could still plummet further. He wasn’t even going to try to help me understand? He was refusing, just like he’d refused to fight for us last night.

“Okay then, why don’t I explain it to you, Noah,” I started. “I thought you were different. But I can see now you’re just like the rest of the rich assholes that go to this school—the ones you despise so much because all they see when they look at you is your last name.

“I would never judge someone based on the actions of their family. And I would never abandon someone I cared about because someone else asked me to. I might not know the intricate details of what happened between our families, but I sure as hell know I’m not to blame. And no matter what happened, it will never change the fact that you didn’t care enough about me to see beyond it.”

“Isobel…” His voice implored me. It was filled with anguish. “If I could be with you, I would.”

“You can’t say that to me.”

“I know.”

“You made it very clear we don’t have a future, Noah.”

“I know.”

He was still standing so close, and he was looking at me like he wanted to be closer still. He couldn’t tell me we’d never be together and still look at me that way. It wasn’t fair. I needed to leave before I forgot the words coming out of his mouth didn’t match the raw emotion in his eyes.

“Maybe you’re right. There’s no way we can be together. Not after this.” I shoved him back and quickly escaped the bushes before he could befuddle my mind any further with his proximity. A cool breeze seemed to drive his scent from my nostrils as I stepped onto the path, and I was able to think more clearly again.

Screw this garden party. Screw waiting around to see if Matthew might show up. And screw Noah Hastings. I started walking away from the cottage in the direction of the dormitories. I hadn’t been given the answers I was looking for, but I might have just taken a big step toward finding that closure.

CHAPTERFOUR

Iwoke early on Monday morning. I’d had a rough night, struggling to sleep as I’d been plagued by thoughts of Noah. I was still in so much pain after our breakup, but my body betrayed me because I still wanted him despite everything that had happened.

I was exhausted, and I considered rolling over to try to get back to sleep again. The thought was tempting, but given how active my mind was, I knew it would be useless. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw Noah and the way he had looked at my lips yesterday. I didn’t want to lay here and torture myself thinking about him.

I groggily pushed myself up and smiled when I saw Anna and Cress both asleep in Cress’s bed. They’d escaped from the garden party not long after me and taken it upon themselves to distract me from the breakup for the rest of the day. We spent all of Sunday afternoon watching movies and eating ice cream, and we’d stayed up late into the night painting our nails and applying face masks. Anna had ended up crashing here, and it warmed my heart to know that, despite everything that happened with Noah, I still had some pretty amazing friends at this school.

I reached over to my bedside table and picked up my phone. There was a notification splayed across the lock screen. I had a message, and although the contact name said Caldwell, it was from my father. Judging by the timestamp on the message, he had sent it the day before. I must have missed it while spending time with the girls.

Hello,Isobel, I hope you’re well. Please accept my sincerest apologies for my absence at the principal’s garden party today. I had to get back to New York for urgent business this morning, and I’m afraid it will keep me here for a couple of weeks. I know we still have a lot to catch up on, and I promise we will do just that as soon as I can get back to Weybridge.

In the meantime,if you need anything at all, please feel free to reach out. Matthew.

It was hard notto be disappointed. It felt like he was avoiding me just when I needed to talk to him most. I was completely in the dark about what had happened between him and the Hastings family. It must have been pretty bad considering Noah had to break up with me. I was also still wrestling with how to feel about my father after hearing the history of his relationship with my mom. Now was just about the worst time for him to disappear to New York for a couple of weeks.

I considered calling him right back but then thought better of it. It was too early in the morning, and I needed to try to clear my head as much as possible before I spoke to him. I slowly eased myself from bed, trying my best to be quiet, and changed into my running gear. I was tiptoeing to the door when I heard movement, and I glanced over to find Cress propped up in bed.