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I stare down at my hands, they’re stained red even though the rain is crashing down loudly around me. I feel so utterly lost and hopeless. What am I supposed to do now? How does one get past something like this? Something so utterly devastating that it feels like a part of you has died?

Thundercrashes above me, making me jump. Where’s Mo-Mo? Fuck, I’ve never needed him more than I do in this very moment. He’d know what to do. Me? I have no idea how to survive this.

The sky flares white with lightning and another boom shakes the ground beneath me. My body jerks and my eyes land back on the ground in front of me. I can’t just leave this mess here. I dig my fingers into the mud, clawing at the ground until I’ve made a shallow hole. Every time thunder cracks the sky, I flinch like it’s inside me.

When it’s finally covered,I can barely stand. The pain is too much, both in my body and in my chest. I stumble forward, aimless, until my foot catches on a root and I fall hard to my hands and knees. Another crash of thunder tears through the sky and I drop to my side, curling into a ball, covering my ears with both hands.

“Please, stop,” I whisper to the wind. But it doesn’t listen. It rages on, wild and merciless, just like the storm in my head.

Chapter thirty-five

Bower

One moment Zee is looking at Kingsley, her eyes filled with heat and excitement, the next, she’s curled in a ball, her hands covering her ears as she whimpers and cries out in pain.

“Please, stop!” she cries out, fear filling her voice. Seeing her like this causes a literal pain in my chest and when my eyes meet King’s, I see the same heartache reflected back at me.

We already managed to get her clothes back on her, hoping that would help calm her from whatever memory she’s trapped in, but it hasn’t helped one way or the other.

“Let’s lie her down so we can hold her between two of us,” West says softly, easing them into a lying position without letting go of her. I quickly move in front of her and wrap my arms around her as well, holding her close. King settles beside me, reaching over to gently rub her side, his touch comforting and steady.

I watch her face. Even though her eyes are tightly shut, I can see an array of emotions move through her, none of them good.

A few tears start to trail down her cheeks, and I use my thumbs to quickly wipe them away, wanting to see no sign of sadness on her skin.

She whimpers again, and the sound twists deep in my chest, pulling at something raw and helpless inside me. Watching her in pain feels unbearable.

“Come on, Tink, come back to us.”

West kisses the back of her head. “Baby, you’re safe now, we’ve got you.”

King starts humming a tune. It takes me a minute to figure out what it is,Lean on Me. The same song we sang during the last storm. I quickly join in, hoping it will bring her out of this faster, and West joins us a moment later.

We sing the song through several times before I finally see the tension in her face start to fade, easing a bit of my own.

A few minutes later, she blinks her big green eyes open and as soon as they connect with mine, her confusion turns to relief. She whimpers as she lurches forward, throwing herself against me, her head against my chest, her fingers digging into my shirt and a choked cry in her throat.

I hug her tightly to me, slightly swaying us as I promise, “You’re safe, Tink. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you.”

I kiss her temple as the other two rub their hands up and down her back and side in a soothing motion while she cries against me. I hate to see her cry, but it’s a step up from her being stuck in a memory like she was.

I start singing again, and soon her cries turn to sniffles before they stop completely.

I pull back a little so I can see her tear-stained face, her eyes are red and puffy and she looks so lost and broken, it damn near kills me.

“You feeling a little better now, Tink?” I ask, cupping the side of her face. She gives me a little nod and I attempt a smile for her, but it’s difficult after witnessing that.

“Do you want to talk about it?” King asks from behind me. “It was a flashback, about them, right?” he asks carefully.

Her eyes drop and her fingers play with the front of my shirt. “It was a flashback, but it wasn’t about them, not exactly. I—”

She cuts herself off, pressing her forehead against me. “I don’t think I can ever talk about it.”

I frown, looking up at West to see the same confused expression on his face. If it wasn’t about the men that raped her, what else had happened to her? If she didn't want to talk about it, we couldn’t force her too, even if it was likely the best way to help her get past it.

“We’ll just have to figure out better ways to spend time during the storms,” King says, clearly thinking along the same line of thought as myself.

“Tink, do you know any songs?”