Page 52

“I’ve slept on far worse.” He nodded his chin toward the cup I held. “Drink that before it congeals.”

I sniffed at the dark-red liquid and wrinkled my nose.

“It’s deer blood,” he said, “and you need it, so drink it.”

“It smells terrible.”

He cocked a brow. “Since when are you so picky, halfling?” A soft smile played around his mouth.

I couldn’t help but return it—and I didn’t miss how the word he’d once hurled at me as an insult had become something of an endearment. I downed the blood, then thrust the cup at him with a grimace. “That was as gross as I expected.”

His grin flashed again as he handed me the plate. “This will be better. I found herbs in that little cabinet over there.”

It was better, and I had to force myself to slow down so I didn’t get sick. I was never taking food for granted again. He waited until I’d swallowed several bites before asking, “What made you leave Aberwas and come looking for me?”

I told him everything that happened between Rhys saving me in the Thicket and me setting out for Eldenvalla alone. I explained how Igrith had shared her power with me, although I omitted her kiss. By the time I finished, my stomach was full and a warm, contented feeling was spreading through my limbs.

Varick took the plate. “I can’t believe you went behind Rhys’s back like that.”

I tilted my head. “You can’t?”

His lips twitched. “Well, maybe now I can.”

We smiled at each other. After a moment, he coughed into his fist. “I’ll, uh, get the tub. You can bathe in front of the fire.”

“All right.”

He rose and pulled a round metal tub down from a hook embedded in the sod. He was so tall, he had to stoop as he moved around. He hauled buckets of snow from outdoors and heated them over the fire before dumping them into the tub. He worked fast, filling it quickly. When that was done, he pulled a bar of soap from the cabinet and placed it on a little stool next to the fire. He rolled up his sleeve and crouched next to the tub, stirring the last of the snow until it melted.

I flung the blanket back and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Someone had applied wax over the floorboards, and they were heaven against my bare feet. I wiggled my toes as I watched Varick. A flash of silver caught my eye, and I noticed the elven-steel sword I’d carried from Vai Seren leaning against the sod in the corner.

I stopped wiggling my toes. “What happened to the mages who helped us in the Thicket?”

Varick’s jaw tightened. He didn’t look up as he answered. “Dead. They ran past me as I carried you out. I saw one trampled by a demon’s horse. The other fell to his knees and tore at his eyes. If he lived, it wasn’t for long.” He paused briefly, a muscle in his cheek twitching. “And I’m sure he wished he hadn’t.”

The food I’d eaten threatened to come back up. “There were only two?”

He looked at me at last. “Just two. They wore the mountain and laurel wreath of Aberwas on their leather armor. The first chance I get, I’ll try to find out who they were so we can notify their families.”

After we left the hut, he meant. But where did he intend for us to go? “Varick—”

“The water is ready,” he said, rising. He averted his gaze as he stood in profile. Faint color stained his cheekbone. “There’s a chamber pot under the bed. I’ll wait outside until you’re done bathing. Just knock on the door.” He stepped around the tub.

“Wait!” I stood and went to him. “I don’t want you to go.”

He kept his head down. “I’ll be right outside.”

“I don’t need the chamber pot, and I don’t want to be alone.” I grasped his sleeve. “Varick, why won’t you look at me?”

His golden-brown eyelashes fluttered to his cheeks. He shook his head.

“Varick?”

“Because,” he whispered, and he opened his eyes but kept his gaze glued to a spot on the floor. “I forced you… Back…there. I took you a-and I know you didn’t want it.” He exhaled harshly through his nose, and a violent shudder passed through him. “Gods,” he rasped, his voice breaking.

Something inside me broke, too. Without being totally aware what I was doing, I gripped his thick bicep and turned him toward me. When he still wouldn’t look at me, I grabbed his face in both hands and pulled his head up. “Varick, I want you to listen to me very carefully. What you and I did is not the same as what happened to you. It’s not the same. You didn’t force yourself on me—”

“You’re wrong,” he croaked, squeezing his eyes shut. A tear leaked from under one eyelid. It raced down his cheek and trickled into his beard.