Page 34

‘Do I, ah, know the father?’
‘You mean is Ildris the father? No, of course he’s not.’
‘Is that because he’s too old for you?’
‘Twelve years isn’t that big an age gap if plenty of other things align. It’s because I don’t care for him in that way and never have, no matter how handy he is to have in my corner. No, Ildris knows nothing about it.’ Or maybe he knew more than she thought. He was a secretive soul, more suited to politicking than she would ever be. ‘I slept with the King’s Falconer.’
‘You mean...you slept with Tomas? The boy hero?’
She could blame childhood confidences on Alya knowing all about him.
‘What can I say? He grew up well.’
Alya shed her cloak and took a seat at Claudia’s table, reached for the untouched wine and poured herself a glass. She reached for a sweet pastry too, giving every indication that she wasn’t going anywhere. ‘Does he know?’
‘No. It was a one-off. I was being my usual pushy self. I don’t even know if he wanted to be naked with me in the first place.’ Not that he had been naked.
‘He can’t have been too much against bedding you if he got the deed done.’
‘I can be very persuasive.’
‘Given that we’re out there celebrating that very fact... I know.’ Alya waved her hand with the pastry in it towards the tent flap, before popping the honey-soaked confection in her mouth.
‘I don’t think this is the result he would want if given a choice,’ Claudia confessed baldly.
The other woman chewed thoughtfully and then reached for her wine, taking her time. ‘Choice is a luxury some people don’t get to have. You of all people know that.’
‘I can choose not to implicate him.’ She’d been thinking about that avenue a lot.
‘No man worth a hero badge is going to let you get away with that if he thinks that baby’s his. He’s going to want to be there for that child. Maybe he’ll want to be there for you too. Let’s call that his choice.’
‘You’re saying I should tell him?’
The other woman nodded. ‘If you’re keeping it, yeah.’
‘I’m keeping her.’
‘Oh, it’s a her, is it?’
‘Only in my stupid head.’ Claudia felt hot tears start to well. ‘I don’t even like my role at the palace. The public are fed this notion that I’m this indestructible princess, back from the dead. Some kind of icon, preferably in a tiara, only the more people get to know me, the more they realise I’m just human and I make mistakes. Fitting in is tough. Cas wants me there but has warned me to back off on some of my advocacy until I’m more settled. Even my parentage is in question—my real father was likely the man I thought was my uncle, which is why Leonidas never wanted my return. And now I’m pregnant. How is that helpful? My position is so precarious. I don’t know how I’m going to be of use to anyone going forward.’
‘Hush, Claudia. You can always stay here. We’ll have you, and gladly.’
‘Will you? Or have I delivered on the water rights and now you’re done with me too?’
‘See, that’s just crazy mixed-up baby hormones talking,’ Alya said firmly. ‘Come back outside and I’ll show you that’s not true. People are in awe of what you have achieved. We love you and we’ve missed you.’
‘I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going.’ She was a compass dial, endlessly circling. ‘I don’t know which way’s home.’
Alya rose and embraced her. ‘I’ll help you find the way. I’ll come with you on that journey, but be warned, I’m going to be the naughty auntie.’
Claudia clutched her honorary sister’s hand and clung with all her might. ‘Thank you.’
‘Don’t thank me yet. I’m going to be a very bad influence. The stories I can tell about what we got up to as kids. There’s the stolen pony story.’
‘Rescued pony.’ Claudia smiled through her tears.
‘The duck egg substitution story. That was one very confused owl.’