Page 34
Story: Stilettos and Outlaws
Julie laughed. “Yep, I see them. The idiots are wearing bandanas over their faces like old West outlaws.” She waved at them all friendly-like. “Hey, y’all want a beer?”
The cowboy with a huge beer belly yelled, “Hell, yeah.” He hurried toward Julie.
His buddy reminded me of a scarecrow complete with overalls. His wild, blonde hair stuck out from his hat and pieces of straw and what looked like manure covered his boots. He grabbed Beer Belly’s arm and stopped him. “No, the boss won’t like it.”
“It’s ice-cold fellas and I’m feeling mighty lonely,” Julie called, giving them a come-hither look.
Beer Belly asked, “You’re alone?”
“Not anymore.” Julie held out a beer. “What’s your name, big guy?”
Taking a quick look around, the morons holstered their weapons and headed for Julie.
“On my way, Julie.”
“Copy.”
Running up the stairs, I secured the bunker and snuck around the side of the barn.
Bodacious and Max followed me.
“No. No. No.” I waved my hands and whispered, “Shoo go away.”
Bodacious butted his head against my back.
I hit the side of the barn. “Knock it off, you overgrown cow.”
“Get your hands up or I’ll put a bullet in you,” Julie shouted.
Miss Kitty yowled.
Beer Belly yelled, “Get that fucking cat off me!”
“Don’t you dare hurt her!”
The bastard snarled, “Let’s see if it can swim.”
“Oh crap.” I grabbed a shovel and charged around the barn in time to see Julie diving into the pool. “How about you pick on someone your own size.”
Beer Belly spun around.
I brained him with the shovel.
He staggered back a foot.
Bellowing loudly, Bodacious slammed into Beer Belly and sent him flying head over heels. He hit the pool with a loudsplashand sank to the bottom.
Julie popped up, holding Miss Kitty.
“Fuck!” Scarecrow pulled his gun.
I kicked it out of his hand and ten seconds later, Bodacious head butted him.
Scarecrow was thrown a good five feet and landed in Mom’s prized rose garden.
“He’s a dead man,” Mom growled in my ear.
To my astonishment, Scarecrow scrambled to his feet and took off at a dead run with Bodacious in hot pursuit. Oh shit! The bull was trampling the rose bushes.
The cowboy with a huge beer belly yelled, “Hell, yeah.” He hurried toward Julie.
His buddy reminded me of a scarecrow complete with overalls. His wild, blonde hair stuck out from his hat and pieces of straw and what looked like manure covered his boots. He grabbed Beer Belly’s arm and stopped him. “No, the boss won’t like it.”
“It’s ice-cold fellas and I’m feeling mighty lonely,” Julie called, giving them a come-hither look.
Beer Belly asked, “You’re alone?”
“Not anymore.” Julie held out a beer. “What’s your name, big guy?”
Taking a quick look around, the morons holstered their weapons and headed for Julie.
“On my way, Julie.”
“Copy.”
Running up the stairs, I secured the bunker and snuck around the side of the barn.
Bodacious and Max followed me.
“No. No. No.” I waved my hands and whispered, “Shoo go away.”
Bodacious butted his head against my back.
I hit the side of the barn. “Knock it off, you overgrown cow.”
“Get your hands up or I’ll put a bullet in you,” Julie shouted.
Miss Kitty yowled.
Beer Belly yelled, “Get that fucking cat off me!”
“Don’t you dare hurt her!”
The bastard snarled, “Let’s see if it can swim.”
“Oh crap.” I grabbed a shovel and charged around the barn in time to see Julie diving into the pool. “How about you pick on someone your own size.”
Beer Belly spun around.
I brained him with the shovel.
He staggered back a foot.
Bellowing loudly, Bodacious slammed into Beer Belly and sent him flying head over heels. He hit the pool with a loudsplashand sank to the bottom.
Julie popped up, holding Miss Kitty.
“Fuck!” Scarecrow pulled his gun.
I kicked it out of his hand and ten seconds later, Bodacious head butted him.
Scarecrow was thrown a good five feet and landed in Mom’s prized rose garden.
“He’s a dead man,” Mom growled in my ear.
To my astonishment, Scarecrow scrambled to his feet and took off at a dead run with Bodacious in hot pursuit. Oh shit! The bull was trampling the rose bushes.
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