Page 43

"It was completely by chance that I managed to free myself..."

Was it, really?

Because the more I think about it, the more I'm unable to stop thinking that it can't be.

For him to survive such odds, and the two of us to end up here...

This isn't chance.

ButGod.

The realization hits me with such force that tears spring to my eyes, and I suddenly remember the nightMamanwas first admitted to the hospital.

It was the last night I allowed myself to speak to God, and I remember kneeling beside her bed while she slept, feeling like I was about to explode from all the anger and bitterness boiling inside of me.

Why do bad things keep happening to us?

Why can't You punish those who deserve to be punished?

Do You really care about us? Do You even have a plan for us?

I had walked away from that hospital room convinced of God's indifference. And in that belief, I'd made choices.

Stealing. Lying. Everything I could think of to survive...and hurt God at the same time.

Because I thought...He had abandoned me.

And that everything about Him was a lie.

And that He never really cared about ordinary people like me.

I'm sorry, God.

But He does.

I know that now.

He had a plan all along. Always had. But I couldn't get past my fear and pain to see this.

And Sylvain...

My husband stiffens beneath me, finally noticing my tears. "What's wrong, Liana?"

I wish I could speak, but I'm crying too hard.

Thank You, God.

Because I see it all now. How all these years, I've been lashing out in my pain and self-pity. Stealing and conning people. Daring God to strike me down without the words. And yet...

Not once did He give up on me. He still made things work together for good. He still made use of my mistakes, reshaping my path until it led me to the man God's chosen to be my husband.

Sylvain.

"Talk to me, Liana." My husband sits up, pulling me with him. "What's wrong?"

I want to tell him how everything's right, but I'm just so overwhelmed that all I can do is cup my beloved's face and say...

"Love me."