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“I’m sure he did,” Maxine said, pulling her spine straight and sitting up as much as she possibly could, given the incredible weight she carried around in her chest every minute of every day. “But I’m also sure that he did not believe for one second that a test mission would have ended this way. He would have never chosen to leave us behind, Mr. North. He would not.”

The men looked at one another uncomfortably, and finally, one of them stood. He slid a manila folder down the length of the table, passing it from one set of hands to the next, until it stopped in front of Maxine.

“We have prepared an offer of settlement that we’d like for you to read over, Maxine,” the man who was still standing said. He averted his gaze as she stared at the file with wide, unseeing eyes. “This is a standard provision for an astronaut in the event of catastrophic loss of life, and it accounts for the fact that your husband had a family that he leaves behind.”

The room was so quiet that Maxine could hear the stomach of the man closest to her grumble. She touched the front of the file, and then opened it slowly, seeing a page with black typewritten words all over it. None of it registered.

“You can take this home with you, Max,” Jude whispered, leaning in closer to her. “You don’t need to sign anything now.”

The men shifted around in their chairs, and the one still standing tapped the table with the tips of his fingers. “Actually, we’d really like to get this signed off on today.”

Maxine looked right at him. “Today?” she said, shell-shocked. “You want me to sign off on the value of my husband’s lifetoday?”

The discomfort in the room ratcheted up several notches as everyone realized that this was exactly what they were asking of her.

“How about if we step out and let you read it over?” Arvin North offered, standing up slowly so that the other men would follow suit. “Perhaps we could leave you and Mrs. Majors here, and you could talk it through with her. You know, bounce some thoughts and questions around with another girl.” His smile was lopsided, and Maxine wanted to stand up and slap him. Hard.

“Yes,” she said frostily. “Why don’t you leave usgirlsto talk about how much money will make it okay if our husbands go to work one day and then never come home?”

The room cleared out quickly, and she and Jude were left alone.

“Oh, Max,” Jude said, keeping her eyes off the file. “This is more intense than I ever could have dreamed. Are you okay?”

She was speaking so quietly that it made Maxine think of being in a classroom where the teacher had left and you knew you weren’t supposed to be talking to your neighbors.

“I am most definitelynotokay,” Maxine said out loud. She stood up and winced visibly at the cramp that shot through her stomach. She put both hands on the sides of her belly and rubbed the baby, trying to soothe its kicking as she paced the room. “I feel like someone is trying to get me to say it’s fine that my husband died, and that a few thousand bucks is enough for me to walk out of here today and get on with my life.”

Jude stood near the wall with her arms folded. “I don’t think it’s that simple,” she said gently. “This is a formal way of NASA apologizing to you and showing you that they’re sorry for your loss, Maxine. And of course they care about you and the children, and about doing right by Derek.”

Maxine let out a huff. “Doing right by Derek,” she repeated, almost under her breath. “Hardly.”

Jude walked across the room and put her hands on the back of a chair so that she was standing next to Maxine. “Look,” she said. “I cannot fathom what you’re going through right now, and I sincerely hope I never have to. That’s me being honest—selfish, but honest—however, I want you to know that we’re all on your side. We’re here to help you get your bearings.”

Maxine’s eyes flashed and tears clung to her bottom lashes. She pressed her lips together tightly and gave Jude a nod. “Of course,” she said. “I know you’re all here. I just can’t pull myself upright, Jude. Every single minute of every single day is a challenge to hold my own head up on my neck.” She motioned at her head as if it might fall off her shoulders and roll away at any moment. “I have no idea how I’m going to take care of myself as well as a baby and a toddler.”

“We’ll help,” Jude offered. “And Ryan is with you. He’s a big boy—he can help. We’ll do this as a team, okay?”

Maxine looked right at her. She knew that Jude wasn’t just being kind, and that this is what the wives of astronauts needed to be prepared for, even if only in the darkest recesses of their mind. The fear of losing their husbands needed to be always present so that they weren’t caught unawares. And in that morbid preparedness was always the knowledge that they might need to step up and help a fellow wife in need.

Maxine shook her head. “But the other wives are your friends, not mine. They barely know me.”

“Not important,” Jude said. “Sometimes I feel like I barely know them myself—or maybe that they barely know me—but I know without a doubt that any one of them would step up and help if it was needed. Trust me on that.”

Maxine heaved an exhale that released a knot of tension in her chest. She nodded again. “I’m just going to step into the hall for a moment and look for a restroom. If anyone comes back, will you tell them where I’ve gone?”

Jude nodded and stayed standing, hands on the chair. “I’m right here,” she promised.

Maxine let herself out into the hallway and as she closed the door behind her, she took another deep breath. She smoothed the front of her dress over her baby bump and leaned her back against the door as she got her bearings.

“And you’re sure that Booker understands?” A man’s voice drifted through the cracked door of an office across the hallway. He was speaking quietly, but the hall was silent, so Maxine heard every word. “He knows that no matter how strong his misgivings were prior to the launch, he needs to keep his mouth shut at this point while we do the investigation, right?”

“I’ve spoken to him on a number of occasions,” Arvin North said. Even without seeing his face, Maxine knew it was him talking. “He put up a stink that day about the bolt and his feelings that we should hold off on launch, but frankly, I think he was a day late and a dollar short.”

The men were silent for a long minute.

“You don’t think that listening to him would have been the way to go?” the other man asked.

“Obviously it would have,” North said, his words thick with sarcasm. “But hindsight is always twenty-twenty, isn’t it?” They fall silent again. “We need the wife to sign off. Bob Young was single and had no children, so that’s a bit more open-and-shut. His parents came, signed papers, and left with a check. Case closed. But Trager’s wife seems a bit more undecided.”