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Playlist

Queens of the Stone Age completely fueled this book (if you can’t tell by the title of the book, which makes it the third book I have with the name of a QOTSA song), so it makes sense to include my playlist along with it. Also, anytime there’s some car chasing and demon fighting going on, just know that “Feet Don’t Fail Me Now” was always playing in my head.

Also, I didn’t want to keep repeating myself, so all the songs for each chapter are also QOTSA, just so you know.

Song for the Dead

Fortress

You Can’t Quit Me Baby

Feet Don’t Fail Me Now

The Vampyre of Time and Memory

Into the Hollow

The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret

In the Fade

Better Living Through Chemistry

The Evil Has Landed

No One Knows

Everybody Knows That You’re Insane

Head Like a Haunted House

Feel Good Hit of the Summer

Hideaway

I Appear Missing

Sick, Sick, Sick

Skin on Skin

I Sat By the Ocean

Un-Reborn Again

Go With the Flow

Villains of Circumstance

Prologue

A few days after Halloween

“Life is a trip when you’re psycho in love.”

– You Can’t Quit Me Baby, Queens of the Stone Age

It’s the middle of the night when I wake up, unable to breathe.

I sit straight up in bed, hand at my chest, wondering why I’m suddenly underwater. I know I’m not. I’m in my bedroom, it’s quiet and dark. I should be safe.

But inside it feels like I’m coming apart at the seams, my chest heavy, waterlogged, like I’ve just lost everything I care about.

I bring my knees up to my chest, hugging them, holding tight, like I’m about to float away.

What’s happening?

No, that’s not quite right.

What’s going to happen?

Suddenly the air in my room begins to warp and shimmer and I feel Jay’s presence before he steps through. It should make me feel rooted, grounded, but it doesn’t.

Then he appears.

Looking beautiful.

As always.

Though, surprisingly, he’s wearing jeans and a hoodie.

Usually when he visits me in the middle of the night, he’s wearing his boxers and a T-shirt or sometimes nothing at all.

“Where have you been?” I ask him, eying his clothes, as the Veil behind him fades away.

He doesn’t move. Stands where he is.

The sick feeling in my chest gets worse.

What’s happening?

Why does this feel weird?

“I was out,” he says. Jaw stern, clenched. Like he’s holding something back. Is that why I’m feeling so much? Is there something wrong with him?

“Are you okay? Why are you out in the middle of the night?”

“I had some business to attend to.”

“Demon business?”

He shakes his head. Why are his eyes so cold?

“Jacob,” he says.

“Ah,” I say with a nod. “And what did the All-Powerful Oz say?”

A pained look comes across his face for a moment.

Jay doesn’t show a lot of emotion. He doesn’t really have a lot of emotion, to be honest. So this crack in his façade has my chest feeling tighter.

I sit up straighter and swing my legs over the side of the bed, walking over to him.

“Stay right there,” he says, holding out his palm.

“What? Why?”

“You’re going to make this more difficult.”

I stare at him, so fucking tired and not understanding any of this. “What the hell are you talking about? Make what more difficult?”

You know, something whispers inside me. You know that lately he’s been distant. That he’s not over much. That he never invites you over anymore. That he hasn’t said he loves you in a while. You know all this.