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The fresh air and natural white noise made her yawn, and she moved back inside and curled under the covers. When she woke again, the sun was bright and full. She showered, taking the time to properly scrub. She put on a cute outfit, did her makeup, even polished her nails—everything she’d been neglecting, and everything that made her feel just a bit more human.

“Good afternoon.” She smiled to the bellhop as she made her way to a restaurant.

At the buffet, she entered major decision fatigue. Smoked salmon, roasted potatoes, meats, cheeses, an omelette station, crepes, and hash browns. She loaded her plate with the fried deliciousness in honor of Ella. Her mouth salivated as she tucked herself away in a corner on the upper deck to face the ocean.

She’d always wanted to see the ocean like this, and it didn’t disappoint. The ocean was both forgiving and unforgiving. This vast, powerful entity where you could throw in all your hopes and dreams, and it wouldn’t judge you. The water could destroy you or give you life. Make you breathe or drown you.

Today, the ocean provided hope. She breathed in. The salty air prickled her nose with a delicious burn. She bit into the hash browns and grinned. They were delicious, probably made with grass-fed butter and flaky sea salt, but they would never beat the dive breakfast joint she and Ella went to. She closed her eyes, thinking of that day a lifetime ago, and blew a wish into the water that she’d take Ella there again.

Footsteps approached behind her, and she barely noticed among the travelers, silverware clanking, and servers rushing to clean tables. But when the shadow hovered, she almost turned around.

“These hash browns are good, for sure. But I know of a place in Green Lake that does them better.”

No way.Maybe a conversation from a different table got stuck in the wind. Sophie was scared to turn around, scared to look, scared she was hallucinating.

But she did, and her heart leapt right into her throat.

THIRTY-ONE

ELLA

Ella didn’t expect to be this nervous. She knew the decision to go on the cruise was impulsive. She had barely lifted from her seizure fog the other day when she’d sent the design samples and bought a ticket. When she arrived, she had no plans except to find Sophie. She assumed it would take an hour or so, not the near thirty-six hours she’d clocked searching this entire place.

She didn’t realize Sophie would have her phone turned off. Nor did she expect security on the ship to be at a secret service level. They absolutely would not budge when she begged for Sophie’s room number.

So, she’d been aimlessly wandering, knowing damn well that the likelihood of seeing Sophie on this mammoth eight-story ship was slim. But not impossible.

And finally, here she was.

Ella’s hand slipped on condensation from the orange juice glass, and she wiped her palm on her jeans. She pointed to her bruised upper cheek and eye area that had faded to a terrible puke green by this morning. “You should see the other guy.”

Sophie’s mouth hadn’t closed since Ella stepped behind her a moment ago, but her jaw worked in a slow circle. “What are you doing here?”

Well, those words were not the reaction Ella hoped for, but it was better than “get the eff out of here.”What am I doing here?A loaded, very good question, and she wasn’t sure how to answer. “Can I sit?”

Sophie nodded and pointed to the chair. “Your dad told me you had a seizure. Are you okay?”

The words were kind, but the tone flat. Ella nodded and swallowed. “I think I have some explaining to do.”

“Yes, you do.” Sophie pushed the plate of food away from her and crossed her arms.

The wind blew Ella’s hair and she tucked it behind her ears. The encounter with Jasmine and Sophie two weeks ago had crushed her. The level of betrayal she felt wasn’t realistic, but it didn’t matter. The news had destroyed her and made her question everything.

Ella wanted to explain what it was like never having genuine friends. How living in the shadows of her parents made her feel like she couldn’t handle anything on her own. How she questioned her worth daily, but Sophie helped free her from that doubt, helped show her a world she didn’t know existed. She wanted to tell her she’d fallen so hard, so deep, and that she was terrified that her actions after the Jasmine situation—and her unintentional ignoring post-seizure—ruined things for them.

But she froze, the words catching in her mouth, in her breath, and she shifted on the chair.

“I can understand what you found out was shocking, and really hurt.” Sophie leaned back in her chair. “But going totally dark for two weeks? That’s not how adults communicate. That’s not how I communicate. And that’s not the type of relationship that I want to be in.”

Ouch.

Sophie twisted the ring on her finger. “Why did you run?”

Ella held her stare. “Why didn’t you chase me?”

The words hung in the air, heavy and thick. So many moments passed Ella wasn’t sure who’d break first.

“How much chasing did you want me to do?” Sophie asked. “I called. I texted. I even went to your house. Was that not enough?”