Page 56
Story: Snow Bound
He was staring at her with wide eyes. “I think you misunderstood, or perhaps I did.”
She bit her lip and watched him compose himself. His eyes were so tired, his cheeks so thin, that she felt her sympathy rise again, stronger than her hurt.
He took a deep breath and raised his chin before he spoke. “You have already sacrificed much for me, coming to this icy end of the world. I will not marry you in a farce to save my skin, no matter how generously you intended the offer. If I marry you, or anyone, it will be with all my heart, for all my life, however long or short that is.”
“What if it wasn’t a farce?” Gytha felt the desperation in her words. “I can’t let you die, Alexander. You said you once thought you could find love with someone who lived with honor and integrity. I will do my best not to disappoint you! I don’t wanta title or anything, I just want you to live and not let that horrible woman kill you. I?—”
“No!” He shook his head, his face even paler than before. “I didn’t mean…” He raked trembling fingers through his hair again. “I am sorry. I meant that you have sacrificed so much for me already that it would be cruel to accept this, too.”
“Could you love me, if we were married under other circumstances?”
“How can you even doubt it?” He swallowed and met her eyes again. “When I was a bear, I didn’t notice that you were beautiful; I only noticed that you smelled of death but still smiled kindly at those you loved. I saw that you were kind to me, even though you were terrified. Your courage and compassion won my heart.
“Now, with human eyes, I…” He gripped the ends of the blankets more tightly. “I am reminded that you must have hopes and dreams beyond this frozen end of the world. Maybe you have a good man waiting for you, ready to give you a happy life. And I have nothing but centuries of painful memories that haunt me and a royal title long since forgotten. No one who still lives, other than you, even knows my name.
“How can I ask you to throw away your good future to save me a quick death? The queen has told me for years she would not let me die before marrying her, and now she is angry enough to kill me. It seems the best way out for both of us. You can go back home, free to marry whom you choose.”
A surge of fierce, hot anger made Gytha’s voice sharp. “I don’t accept that. I didn’t come all the way here to watch you die at that evil woman’s hand, and you have no right to tell me that marrying you is throwing away my good future! Everything I know of you is good and kind, and that’s the kind of man I want to marry. Why should we not find happiness together, if we both choose to love each other well?”
He blinked several times, as if reevaluating everything he knew. “I don’t want you to marry me out of pity,” he said at last. “Death is a better option than marrying her, and I am willing to accept it.”
“Is it really better to die than to marry me?” She swallowed. “And I don’t mean out of pride because you don’t want to burden me, but do you really think being married to me would be worse than death? You think you’d be so miserable you’d rather die?”
“Of course not!” His voice rose a little in dismay. “I want you to be free to choose whom you marry.”
“Then I choose you!” she cried. “Maybe this isn’t the best way of starting a marriage, but we can continue better once you’re free. Don’t you think we could find our way to love, if we both tried?”
“You would really marry me, knowing so little of me, and not feel it a burden or a disgrace?” His eyes were wide and haunted. “How can you be so sure?”
“Please, Alexander,” she said softly. “Please. Think of how you would feel if someone had been so kind and generous to you, and then wouldn’t even accept your love and gratitude in return. If you marry me, I will have no regrets. If you die, I will grieve for all my days that your pride and hurt kept you from accepting me, and I will feel hurt that you would rather die than attempt to make a happy life with a woman who loves you.”
His dark eyes brimmed with emotion. He took her gloved hands in both of his and raised them to his lips and then to his eyes, hiding them. It was several minutes before he spoke, and Gytha could feel his hands trembling as he still held her.
“I am honored,” he said in a low voice, “and I will choose you before everyone, now and always. I love you already, and I am sure that, if I survive the queen’s wrath, I will love you more day by day. I will endeavor to make you glad of this sacrifice.”
“It’s not a sacrifice,” she whispered. “It is a joy, even if it is surrounded by pain.”
He squeezed her hands.
Something in Gytha’s heart shifted from fear to determination. She would not leave this place without him. “Eat, please,” she said. “I don’t know what Eshkeshken is planning, but I think you will need your strength.”
He pressed her hands again before he straightened. “Yes. You are right.”
For several hours, they talked quietly; it seemed good to both of them to not let the silence draw out too long, because then they felt awkward and unsettled with each other. Gytha asked many questions about Alexander’s past, about his time in the north and what he remembered of his childhood.
“I was born in Elestar, the capital city of Eleria, in a beautiful palace built into the side of a cliff overlooking the sea. In the mornings, I watched the sunrise from the windows overlooking the valley to the east, and from my bedroom, I watched the sunset over the water.”
“I’ve never seen the sea, not really. Only that moment at the entrance to the queen’s prison.”
He blinked and looked at her. “That’s right. I suppose you wouldn’t have. You saw it covered with ice, and only for a moment. It wasn’t free, like I saw it.
“I loved watching the storms roll in over the water, the dark clouds looming like mountains and the waves crashing upon the cliffs. The palace was all stone on the outside, so there was no real danger, but the air crackled with energy, and it made me feel free and alive.”
“I would like to see it someday,” Gytha mused.
“The smell of the sea is salt and fish and immense open space. It is beautiful and perilous and unpredictable. But the palace was safe.
“When I was young, I heard of other kingdoms in which brother hated brother, and they fought or killed for power. But my brother and I loved each other. We never fought over anything serious; we had only foolish children’s squabbles. He was six years younger than I was. Maybe that kept us from feeling like rivals.
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