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I pressed my lips together and looked down at my bare feet. Those gorgeous but painful shoes I wore for the numbers were always the first things I took off.
“He’s lost without you,” Owen added. “And he’s kicking himself for what he said.”
Hearing his words, I wondered again if I had been too rash, that if I’d stayed and simply explained myself, he’d want me to stay. I told Eddie all those years ago about my record, and he hadn’t judged me. He gave me a chance to turn my life around. He respected that I’d never accept charity, but I’d prove myself with a job.
Was I too rash to give up on Henry? I knew he was in a combative mood already, having to face off with Ann. If I took the time to tell him about my past and apologize for never coming clean, maybe there was a chance that he would understand and want to move past it. It wasn’t like we’d ever broken into the topic about whether we’d ever been arrested or in trouble with the law before. He never looked at my HR files. Eddie had when he hired me, and that was that. Henry wouldn’thave ever known about my past unless I told him about it. A smidgen of guilt filled me that I should’ve stepped up to explain.
No. He wouldn’t change his mind.
I shrugged, knowing I couldn’t risk anything more with the man I’d wanted so badly for years. I refused to put my heart on the line like that anymore. It was too broken, battered and chipped, then crushed and pulverized.
I leaned on the benefit of the doubt once before. When Dennis set me up to “help him with a favor”, I figured I could trust him, that I could believe what he said and in his behavior. He’d duped me, framed me, and I learned how hard love could hurt when I had to serve that little bit of time while he walked away clear and free of charges, pinning it all on me.
I wished I could give Henry the benefit of the doubt now, that I could take a chance on him and my feelings for him to sit down and talk. I almost felt like I owed him that conversation.
But it was simply too damn risky. I couldn’t put my heart out like that again.
It was too broken to be stitched back together again.
21
HENRY
One week. Seven days had passed since Mia quit. On me. On working at Dunn Enterprises. All of it.
She had taken off, her head held high, and sucked all the brightness and joy out of my existence.
I couldn’t live with myself like this. The self-loathing and regret consumed me, accumulating each day until I felt like I would go insane missing her.
I royally fucked up with her. No one could ever screw up with the love of their life like I had with her. No one.
“Henry.” My dad walked into Mia’s office, and I sighed. It was late. Well after the rest of the staff had gone home. How he knew to find me here, I didn’t care to figure out.
This was my only solace, looking at the decorations and knick-knacks that once defined the lively woman who worked in here.
I cradled the framed picture between my hands, wondering when I would lose the memory of her placing it face down, like a firm closure on me and her ever being together.
Never. I’ll never forget how she did that.
“Is Laura with Jason?” I asked him. He’d been over watching him when I was in the office. While he was a devoted and involved grandpa, my son was super needy and clingy lately.
“Yes. She took him out for ice cream and promised him a movie night.” He sighed, sitting in the other chair. Looking around the room, he seemed to search for what to say. “We arranged it so you could…” He shrugged. “Go for another run? I don’t know. Whatever you need to do to get your head on straight again.”
“The only thing that could get my head on straight again is having Mia back.” I didn’t stutter or hesitate. I looked him straight in the eye as I told him the truth.
“Well, I’m not sure how you can try to do that.” He folded his hands on his lap. “I’ve been checking at her apartment, and it seems like she’s not there.”
I arched a brow. “Dad. Do you hear me? I won’t be the same without her.”
He nodded.
“Not because she was my secretary.”
Again, he bobbed his head.
“Because I love her.”
He grunted a laugh. “You sure about that?” He crossed his arms. “If you loved her, you wouldn’t have been so quick to judge.”