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He watched me enjoy my food and I couldn’t come up for air long enough to ask him why he wasn’t eating. But I made note of it.
“I saw you meditating yesterday,” he said. “What do you get from practicing? Does it soothe you?”
I grabbed a napkin, wiped my mouth, and took a sip of the lemonade he poured.
“Initially, I began the practice after my brother’s death. It lessened my anxiety and anger. But now a days meditation keeps me grounded and focused.”
He nodded. “How did you see me? You were gone most of the day?”
“I always see you. I’m watching even when you think I’m not.”
Heat moved through me. Just the mention of his watchful gaze aroused me to no end.
“Who taught you how to properly meditate?”
“A therapist.”
“Hmm.”
“When you were young, did you have nightmares?” I countered.
“Yes.”
“How did you get past them?”
“The fire helped me control my pain, and I became unbothered by what might lurk in the dark once I gained control of the shadows.”
Silence lingered between us. But through that stillness I had a revelation.
“Now you are the fear that comes out of the shadows,” I mused.
He didn’t respond, only stared at me, and I’d come to understand when Titan did that, it was because no further comment was necessary.
I murmured, more to myself than anything.“It was never just about the fire but the control of the shadows…”
“Is that why you asked me if I was having nightmares when I came to you the other night?”
“I asked because I know what taking a life can do to a person if they are ill-prepared.”
I watched him watch me with neither of us speaking for a minute.
“Are you having nightmares, Santari?”
“If I was, would you help me become one with the shadows so I’m no longer afraid?”
“Yes.”
His questioning gaze lingered on me.
“No, I don’t have nightmares. But I would still like for you to show me, just in case. Will you do me that favor?”
“I have an idea.” He pushed back from the table. “How about you teach me how to meditate so I can practice remaining grounded through my anger and anxiety, and I’ll teach you how to become one with the fire so you will never be afraid of anything ever again.”
My body tingled, my excitement palpable.
“Yes. Hell, yes.”
With my hand in his,Titan led me to his master bathroom. “Let’s begin.”