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“Listen, someone other than me needs to choose a movie,” Natalia says, handing me a popcorn bowl before plopping down in the recliner beside mine. “That way, if it’s terrible, no one can blame me.”

“What kind of monster blames someone for picking a bad movie?” I ask.

“Monster Marchetti,” Natalia, Neomi, and Gigi say simultaneously.

“It’s cute blame,” Natalia says. “LikeI’ll punish you in the bedroom for your crappy choice.”

Gigi flings popcorn at Natalia’s head. “Um, gross! That’s my dad, weirdo.”

“Benny does the same with me,” Neomi says from the recliner behind me. “Ialwayspick bad ones because I like being punished.”

She and Natalia burst out in laughter.

Gigi heaves a pillow toward Neomi’s head from across the room. “I hate both of you.” She does a motion of the entire theater. “From now on, no one sleeping withanyof my family members is allowed at girls’ night. You losers go pick sucky movies and hang out with your husbands.”

I’ve always wondered how Gigi felt about her father marrying her best friend. From what I’ve heard, it was her idea after shelearned Vinny put out a hit on her. If Darcy married my father, I’d literally have to flee the country—à la my mother’s style.

But most fathers and Cristian Marchetti are not the same.

Cristian is a total DILF.

He does not give dad vibes at all.

Natalia digs the popcorn from her hair, drops it into her mouth, and smiles.

Had she chosen a different career than mob wife, she could’ve easily had a modeling career. Her wavy black hair is layered and reaches her ass, and she has curves I’d die for. It’s no mystery why she started a war between two men. A man died for her, and a man killed for her.

“Does it count if wewantto sleep with one of your family members?” Isabella asks, pulling her black curls into a high ponytail before shoving a handful of Skittles into her mouth.

Gigi snuggles into her blanket, making herself comfortable, and gives Isabella a pointed look. “If you and Luca ever start bumping uglies and you decide to talk about it, you’ll join the banned list.”

“Then that’s the last you’ll see of me,” Isabella says. “I shall sacrifice girls’ nights for the D.”

“Lame!” Natalia shouts.

“Wait.” I shift, turning in my recliner to peer back at Isabella. “You and Luca are …”

“Are nothing,” she cries out, dramatically throwing her arms and head back. Skittles fly out of the package in every direction.

“In case the dramatics don’t make it obvious, she has a crush on Luca,” Bria explains, leaning toward me. “Last year, she boughta freaking wishing wellon eBay with all intentions of installing it in our backyard. Her plan was to throw pennies into it every night and wish to marry Luca until it came true.”

“Our mother watched too many Disney movies when pregnant with her,” Neomi explains.

“It wasThePrincess Bride, thank you very much,” Isabella argues. “And don’t be jealous because Mother spent her pregnancy with you watchingJerry Springer. It’s why I’m a romantic and you compare every bald man to Steve, the bodyguard.”

Neomi throws her hands up. “Oh, I’m sorry I compared theoneboyfriend you had to him.”

“Was he a boyfriend though?” Bria asks. “You met him online and never in person.”

“I stopped talking to him because you said he looked like he had a condom on his head!”

“It should be written into law that bald men aren’t allowed to wear spandex beanies,” Neomi says with a shrug.

“Not this conversation again,” Gigi groans.

“I agree,” Natalia says. “Let’s have Genesis tell us about her and Julian.”

I choke on the popcorn and hurriedly wash it down with a sip of Dr Pepper. “You know, I watched thisJerry Springerepisode once?—”