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"He's so cute."
"Yes, he is. He's tiny too, so you have to be very gentle." I already felt protective of him, but it wasn't a new feeling for me. I'd felt protective and loving over Leah too. The past several months of her adjusting to a mother who just abandoned her had been challenging at times, and she had bonded to me almost immediately. I loved being a mother figure to her, and I knew how much she loved having me around.
"Will he call you Mommy?" she asked, "Or Sophia?" Her nose scrunched up, and she looked back at her father. Jack hoisted her to his hip and held on around her waist. She hugged him around his neck, and I felt my heart grow heavy. She didn’t understand things, and it wasn't really my place to step in. Leah had a mother, even if that woman didn't want her anymore.
"Baby, Jack-Jack will call Sophia Mommy because she's his mommy." Jack pushed a curl out of her face, and she looked down at me.
"But I call her Sophia, and Mommy isn't here now." She shrugged, and I gave Jack a pleading look.
We had never spoken about this before and I didn't want to cross any lines, but in my heart, I wanted this little girl to never have to feel lesser than her brother or be jealous of the love Jack and I had for him. A child should never have to go through the pain of losing a parent, and while I was no replacement, I could be a surrogate.
"Leah," I said softly, "would you like to call me Mommy too?" I raised my eyebrows as Jack glanced at me with such emotion in his eyes I thought he might cry. "You don't have to. But you can if you want. I know I'm not your mommy, but I love taking care of you."
Leah looked up at Jack and shrugged both shoulders again, then turned back to me. "Yes," she said resolutely, and then gave Jack a smack on the lips. "Mommy and Daddy." Leah grinned happily and then sighed exasperatedly. "When do I get to hold Jack-Jack?"
She cocked her head at Jack, who chuckled and set her down. "Alright, big sister, you can hold him for five minutes, then Mommy has to rest. She's very tired today. And you can play withwàigongandwàipófor a while." He took Jack Jr. from my arms after pronouncing the Mandarin names so horribly I had to snicker.
"What does that mean?" Leah climbed onto the pull-out sofa with her nose scrunched up again. I was thankful that Jack was trying to learn my father's language to prove to him that we both took the culture seriously, but he didn’t have to try so hard.
"It means, Grandma and Grandpa, remember?" I coached, reinforcing Jack's lead. I'd never correct him, but I'd definitelycommunicate that my parents were totally okay with Leah calling them any term of endearment she felt comfortable with.
"Oh, Nana and Pop-Pop!" She grinned. "Yes. I like them."
I watched her hold our little boy and yawned, feeling sleep tugging at my eyes. I barely made it a full ten minutes before my body gave up the fight. I laid my head back and dozed, dreaming of bringing Jack Jr. home to a loving house with Jack and Leah by my side. I dreamed he proposed and we had a traditional wedding, though Dad insisted on the red dress, and then I dreamed he walked me down the aisle and gave me to Jack forever.
My heart was full.
After almost a full year of ups and downs, some complications during pregnancy, and more than enough vomiting to last me a lifetime, my son was here. Jack and I were basically under the same roof, and I'd found a receipt from a jewelry store that Jack didn't know I'd seen. It made me giddy thinking that any day, he'd propose to me and our family would be complete. Things always had a way of working out, even if in the beginning they didn't seem that way.
For now I needed rest. Because whenwàigongandwàipócame to visit baby Jack, there would be enough noise to bring the house down. And Maylin, Andrew, and Thomas—with his new wife—wouldn't be far behind.