Page 99 of Shots Fired

Me: Girl, I’m ten weeks, and we’re still waiting on gender confirmation.

Kendra: I know, I know, but I couldn’t help it. The rompers were too cute, and then I saw these tiny little sandals, and it snowballed. Everything is gender-neutral.

Kendra: And have you checked your email? Because I NEED to know what you’re having.

I navigate to my email and refresh the inbox. Nothing. My heart sinks a little more. If news doesn’t arrive today, I’m fairly certain Archer will drive to the lab and run the test himself.

Me: Nothing yet, but we were told it could take a week or so. I need you all to remain calm because my boyfriend is about to burst a blood vessel. He’s the most impatient person on this planet.

Kendra: I still can’t believe you’re pregnant.

Collins: Your bank balance can though.

Kendra: True that.

Jenna: You can stash the clothes here. I promise I won’t go through them and squeal at their tininess …

Kendra: Lifesaver. I’ll be over later.

Collins: Next order of business: Jenna. How have you fucked up on this fine morning?

Jenna: If you take the word “how” and rearrange the letters to form a common pronoun, your question will be more accurate.

Collins: I mean, I’d rather not …

Me: Easy problem. So, who did you fuck?

Me: WAIT. WHO DID YOU FUCK, JENNA?

Jenna: I was horny, okay?

Kendra: WHO?

Jenna: One of the Storm’s team physios. We’ve had a thing for a while, and … yeah. I’m still in his bed, and he’s taking a shower.

Kendra: OMG, you fucked Phil, didn’t you?

Jenna: Yes.

Kendra: Girl, if word gets out, you’re both in so much trouble.

Jenna: I think that’s what made it so good—the forbidden nature of it all.

Collins: Is he kinky?

Jenna: Unfortunately not. Decent-sized cock though.

Me: I have no words.

Jenna: Oh, don’t pretend like you’re a good girl.

Me: True. The first time I had sex with Archer, we took photos.

Kendra: That’s my biggest fear—a sex video or a photo of me and Jack leaking onto the internet. I’d fly to the moon and never come back.

Me: I already deleted it—because same. It was still hot though.

Collins: Are you going to go there again, Jenna?