Page 58 of Shattered Soulmates

As I follow everyone up the stairs to check on Paisley, my wolf grows increasingly frantic. He howls so loudly in my head that I can’t even make out what’s being said outside Paisley’s room. The door at the end seems to call to me as I slip away towards it unnoticed in the chaos.

As I draw closer, I understand what’s pulling me down this hall. Memories assault me as I scent her—Emaline, the mate who rejected me years ago. The compulsion to go to her is so strong that it’s obvious my attraction to Paisley was just that—a fleeting attraction.

I silently open the door without knocking. There she lies on the bed, staring unseeingly at the ceiling, so small, so damaged, just like she was when she rejected me. I couldn’t leave her then and wouldn’t have, but I’d been forced. I’ll never leave her again. I kneel at her bedside, clutching her hand.

“Emaline?” I sob, gutted at the sight of her.

Emaline

Darkness.

Thick and heavy presses upon me so that I can hardly breathe. My limbs are tangled in the sheets as if wrapped in chains. I have no strength left to fight, and nothing breaks through the bindings.

Hopelessness.

It clings to me like a film, covering my skin and leaving me cold and empty. There’s no escape from it; it’s been like a lover’s kiss for so long, holding me enthralled. Nothing can change it; I don’t even bother to imagine a different life–there’s no point.

Despair.

Rising in my throat, bitter and thick, like a soundless scream–unbearable. I lie here, staring at the ceiling, waiting for something that will never come.

Desolation.

I roll over onto my side and pull my knees up to my chest as the walls seem to close in on me. Suffocated by emptiness and silence, I feel the weight of complete isolation. Even when I shut my eyes, there’s no escape.

Void.

It fills my mind until there’s no room for anything else–the darkness, the endless black. No space for light or hope, only these mangled memories. Goddess, how I long for nothingness, for my thoughts to be swallowed up and lost as if I never existed in the first place.

Anguish.

The raw, all-consuming anguish tears at me from the inside. The only outward evidence is my nails digging into my skin as I clench my fists. I don’t feel external pain anymore, so engulfed in the nightmare, just lurking beneath the surface, on the verge of breaking free and pulling me down, drowning me in it.

Broken.

I look in the mirror and recognize the face staring back at me, but that’s not the person inside. The calm façade in the mirror doesn’t reflect the hollow shell that I am. The fragile image in the mirror is made of glass, yet I’m already shattered and cracked beneath the surface. I’m broken, and nothing can be done about it.

I lie here in my bed at the clubhouse, spiraling and trapped in my thoughts, each one darker than the last. I can’t escape, so I'm lost in my head. Then the door opens, and light splashes across the sheets. I scent him before I hear him. Suddenly, he’s here, clutching my hand desperately.

“Emaline?” The pain in his voice shatters me all over again.

“Knight?” I croak out, my throat dry.“Mate?”my dragon calls, lifting her head for the first time in years.“He’s back.”