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He played with a piece of her hair. “A penny for your thoughts?”
She smiled, an inexplicable sadness coming over her. Maybe it was because she knew she couldn’t have this—not with Gordon. She was supposed to marry George. Secure the kingdom. Help her people. Do her duty. Even if she didn’t want to.
“I was just thinking how nice this was. I wish…” A stinging longing filled her heart, making it hard to speak. She faded off, unable to finish the sentence.
He kissed her. “I know. Me, too.”
Closing her eyes, she rested her cheek on his chest. The steady beating of his heart lulled her to sleep within minutes. It was the most peaceful thing she’d ever felt.
And she was going to lose him.
Chapter Ten
The bullets came from every direction. There was no telling how many men surrounded them, or where they were hiding. It all went too fast. Too much blood. Too much pain. Too much…everything. He was going to die in this godforsaken desert, and there wasn’t a thing he could do to save himself.
Or them.
“Come this way,” his buddy, Isaac, shouted above the blasting guns. “Run!”
Gordon nodded and motioned his other surviving platoon member over. The sweat pouring down his forehead stung his eyes. Or maybe it was blood. He had no idea anymore. “Thomas, this way.”
Thomas just stood there, his eyes wide; then blood spurted out of his mouth like some sick imitation of vomit. Gordon met his eyes, the horror of what he was seeing hitting him square in the chest. Thomas was dying. Right here. Right now. In front of him. He’d never see his wife or his baby girl again. And for what?
For who?
Thomas opened his mouth one more time, then fell to the ground without a sound. Gordon would never forget the look in Thomas’s eyes before he fell. He’d known he was dying, and he’d been terrified. No one had saved him. Gordon hadn’t saved him.
“No!”
Gordon struggled to get to Thomas, but something held him back. He couldn’t move. He fought frantically. He couldn’t leave Thomas out here. Who knew what would happen to his body? It could be pulled apart. Defiled. He couldn’t let that happen.
“Gordon!” Something shook him. “Gordon, wake up!”
Gordon jerked awake with a cry, swinging his fist as he came to. He connected with someone’s arm, and then he was instantly awake. “What the…?”
“It’s just me,” Isabelle said, her voice soft and tender. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
“Oh my God. Belle.” He grabbed her and hugged her, his body shaking. “I’m…I… Did I hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine.” She hugged him back, her arms closing around him. “Everything’s okay.”
He buried his face in her hair, drawing a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he’d been foolish enough to think he could spend the night with her and not have a fucking nightmare. They were as inescapable as death. “I should go.”
“No.” Rearing back, she cupped his face and stared deep into his eyes. Her soft blonde hair framed around her face, making her more gorgeous than ever before. “Lie back down. I’m here for you. Tell me what happened.”
Tell her? He didn’t tell people about his dreams. Didn’t snuggle until he felt better. He fucking dealt with it, and that was that. But with her…he wanted to. He wanted to tell her. Fighting his flight instinct, he laid back down. The unfamiliar desire to spill his guts almost choked him, so he swallowed hard and told her the whole dream.
Told her what he’d seen. What he saw every night when he closed his eyes. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. He told her every gory detail, holding nothing back from her.
Nothing of himself.
When he finished, she hugged him close and smoothed his hair off his forehead. “I’m here, Gordon. I’m here for you. I’m so sorry.”
He held her tight, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. He’d never understand why people
apologized for shit they had nothing to do with, but it sounded nice coming from her. Until now, Gordon had never let anyone in like this. He didn’t know why he was doing so with her, of all people. She would be leaving him in a matter of days.
What they had here, this shared understanding and friendship, would all go away the second she said yes to Prince George. She wasn’t his and never could be.