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“I have some questions for you.”
“Of course.” I practically trip over my words in my haste to say them. “I’ll answer anything you want to know.”
One of his eyebrows quirks up. “Truthfully?”
Sorrow weighs me down momentarily before I shake it off. “Yes. No more lies.”
“How did it start?”
Okay, fair enough question. “Dad was having financial troubles after Bishop Industries backed out of the buyout of his company. I guess your father blacklisted him and no one else would buy it. I didn’t realize why he needed to sell it, not until you told me about the gambling debts.”
I peek over at him, but there’s no change in his expression. “When he got word that Vivian’s position was open for a temp, he bribed the hiring manager. He wanted me to convince you to buy Montague Media. And he said the fastest way to get close to you was to flirt with you, to make you think I’d…” I clear my throat, knowing I have to say this next part after promising him the truth. “That I’d sleep with you.”
“And that was your plan?”
“Not by choice. You saw how awful I was at flirting. You had to ask me not to touch you.”
A reluctant grin creeps over his face, the sight of it warming my heart. “That’s because you were too good. That day you spilled water all over yourself, I couldn’t get out of my chair because of my hard-on.”
I stare at him. “Really?” Did I affect him that much even then?
He nods, his smile dropping. “Why’d you do it?”
I twist my hands together in my lap. “Dad told me I owe him. That there wouldn’t be any money otherwise. He’d completely cut us off and take back his house, cancel health insurance, all that. And Mom’s never worked, so there’s nothing to fall back on. I don’t have any other family, any friends I could have stayed with, especially with Mom in tow. We’ve relied on him for everything. I tried telling him I couldn’t do it, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I didn’t know what else to do.”
He lets out a long breath, but doesn’t seem surprised at my admission as he rubs at the back of his neck. “I wish you could have told me. That you trusted me enough.”
“I do trust you.” I reach for him, then remember myself, snatching my hand back. “More than anyone else in my life. But I felt awful all the time about it. How could I confess who I really was, why I was really here, without you hating me for it? At first, I was afraid you’d fire me, and then, when we got closer, when I started to fall for you, I—I knew it had to come crashing down at some point, that I had to tell you sometime. But I didn’t want you to hate me just yet.”
“I don’t hate you,” he says quietly. “But I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore. If everything we did was because you wanted to or because you had to.”
“It was because I wanted to,” I whisper, my throat closing up. “I admit, I pushed for more than I ever would normally. I’ve never been so forward with anyone. But it also felt right. Once I knew you wanted me too, I was… powerful for a change. Someone was listening to me, was interested in me. Loved me,” I finish softly.
“So you liked having someone’s attention?”
“No.” I rub at my eyes, wishing I’d worded it differently. “It’s nice to be appreciated, but…” I swallow, needing to say this next part, even though I’m not sure how it’ll be received. “I love you for a million other reasons. You’re kind and thoughtful and generous, but you still have a backbone when you need to. You’re smart and patient and you make my stomach flutter every time I see you. You’re the first person I think of when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep.”
One side of his mouth lifts. “Now you’re just trying to flatter me.”
“It’s the truth. And it’s killed me to keep it all from you. But I didn’t know how to say it without everything crashing down.”
He nods, appearing more at ease now. “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
God, what else is there to say? “I’m done with my dad. I’m never speaking to him again.” That’s an easy thing to give up, though. “And in the full interest of disclosure, me spilling that water on myself was a total ploy. Oh, and I made up those files about the buyout.”
“So you didn’t actually ruin them?”
“No. I didn’t want to admit I’d invented them to begin with.”
He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “That day we hooked up in my office… Right after, you mentioned Montague Media.”
I nod, swallowing hard. “That was shitty of me. Dad was cutting off the utilities at our place and said it’d be Mom’s health insurance the next week. She needs it, especially for her prescriptions, and I was already worried about the counterfeit ones she’d picked up. It was a last-ditch effort because you’d brought up the buyout from your meeting. But I shouldn’t have done it. I felt so guilty about it afterward, I decided I’d never bring it up again.”
I take a shaky breath, steeling myself. “I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I understand I broke your trust and I’m so incredibly sorry. But you knew the important things about me, the things that mattered. The connection between us was always real.”
I look up at him, his gaze steady on me. “Archer told me a lot about why your dad made you do all this,” he says.
My brows lift. Did Serena tell him?