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He shook his head, but Finn’s bondmate nodded seriously. I narrowed my eyes at him. It couldn’t be that we were both males. He was mated to one. So I didn’t understand his protest.

“Feigrind is a good man. He has wanted a bondmate for a long while. It hurts him whenever those in his care choose another. It matters that you are returning his affection. He deserves happiness.”

There was no accusation, he didn’t seem to think I was leading Feigrind on, but I felt a little like I might be. I still didn’t plan on staying.

My stomach clenched uncomfortably. The thought of going home was what had kept me going since I arrived. So why did it make me nauseous now?

I tried pushing the discomfort away, but it wouldn’t go. I just kept thinking about what would happen if I left. The life I’d return to. What I’d be leaving behind. Or more specifically, who. I still wasn’t happy about how I’d been brought here, but the thought of leaving Feigrind and going back to life in the brothel wasn’t as appealing as it used to be. Here, I could do as I pleased. I had sex for pleasure, not for work. I could say no if I wished, without risking an angry client or a missed meal. Feigrind would never force me to do something that would make me unhappy.

Did I really want to go back? No, not really. But I didn’t like the idea of being Feigrind’s bed warmer either. There had to be another option. Right?

Nineteen

SIMON

“Simon?”

I bit back a wave of annoyance. I’d been staring into the fire, contemplating my next move, and hadn’t noticed Finn coming to join us. He looked nervous, twisting his fingers and biting his lower lip. My gaze shifted to look behind him, where his bondmate watched with a dark look in his eye. If I wasn’t polite, he’d take issue. And I doubted I’d come out of that interaction unscathed.

“Yes?” I gritted out, my voice terse. If he wanted better than that, then he needed to stay the hell away from me. I could pretend he didn’t exist all day long.

“I, um… I noticed you were uncomfortable in the river the other day. I hate it too, this late in the season. I was wondering… Rath—my bondmate—has been warming water for me to bathe. Did you… That is, if you want…”

He struggled to get the words out, and his eyes darted around. He was obviously terrified, and that made me feel likea dick. Forcing my expression into less of a resting bitch face, I leveled my voice to something less aggressive.

“What are you trying to say?” I asked, somewhat patiently.

He shot a pleading look to Patrick, who shook his head. “It was your idea, Finn. Just ask.”

Grimacing, Finn locked eyes with me again. “I was wondering if you wanted to share the water. Rath said he’d get enough for the both of us. I know Feigrind asked about it, so I assume he was doing the same for you. Since he’s gone, I didn’t want you to have to freeze.”

Damn. Of all the things he could’ve suggested, he had to offer the one thing I couldn’t resist. No way in hell did I want to get in the river, especially with Feigrind not around to warm me up afterward. It meant I had to put aside my animosity towards Finn, though, which would be… a trial. I still blamed him for me ending up here.

Drawing in a breath, I let it out slowly. “Sure. I’d like that. Thank you.”

The relief made his shoulders drop, and he smiled brightly at me. “Okay. We usually bathe after supper. I can come get you when it’s ready.” He glanced at Patrick again. “He could get enough for you too, Patrick.”

Patrick shook his head with a smile. “I’m good. I like the river. But I’ll come hang out if you want.” He shot a questioning look at me, like he knew I’d be uncomfortable alone with Finn. I nodded, and he dipped his chin in acknowledgement. “Just tell me when, and I’ll come hang out. Unless you plan on putting the water by the river. Then we can all go together.”

They discussed it before eventually deciding to bring the heated water to the river. It made for easy clean up and wouldn’t end up with the corner of someone’s tent all wet. The floors of the tents were all rugs overlapped, and Feigrind had to make room every time I wanted to get clean and then waitfor the ground to dry again before fixing it. They really needed something better for bathing. How hard would it be to make a bath?

I excused myself to go visit Maman, helping her make pots while she chattered about the change in the wind. She said her bones told her it would get cold soon. I said I thought that was a bunch of shit, and she ended up throwing wet clay at me in retribution. I enjoyed spending time with her. She was so sassy, it was hilarious.

I forgot about that word Feigrind had called me until I joined Finn and Patrick at the river. After Rath brought the big pot of hot water for us to use, he kissed Finn on the cheek and murmured something that sounded like a term of endearment. I frowned at his back as he walked away.

“What did he call you?”

Finn had been watching his bondmate walk away too, though for an entirely different reason. His gaze was filled with heat and love, and he glanced back in that direction when Rath stripped to join a few others in the river to bathe.

“Huh? Oh. Kolrav? It means ‘my love’. It’s a term only used with bondmates.”

I pursed my lips, stripping out of my clothes and hanging them on a low-hanging branch of a nearby tree so they wouldn’t get dirty. Finn followed suit when Patrick did. Patrick stood in the shallows, washing himself with icy cold water that made me shiver just watching while Finn and I shared the pot of warm water between us. Patrick and Finn talked about the language lessons with the other tributes, and Finn excitedly told him about their progress. I was glad I didn’t need to go to those, because it sounded boring, but Finn seemed happy about it.

“If you’re the scribe, why are you also teaching language?” I finally asked. I hated being on the outs of a group, and I liked talking. I’d put up with Finn for a little while, at least.

Finn turned back to me and lifted a shoulder. “I’ve always loved learning. I picked up the barbarian language pretty quickly when I first arrived. When Rath told me that all the protectors were responsible for teaching the language, I asked around about other people’s experiences. Not every protector is a good teacher. I figured if I could help, I wanted to. I didn’t just want to be Rath’s bondmate, you know? So I came up with a way to better teach their language that was more universal. Patrick was my first student.”

“Thank the goddess for that,” Patrick said with a laugh. “Verus is a wonderful bondmate but a terrible teacher. All he knew how to do was point at things and say their name. Sometimes we weren’t looking at the same thing, and I just got so confused.”