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‘Not if you’re not.’

‘Then we’re not.’

‘I wish Susan would stop putting the meeting times in the chat. It makes me feel guilty,’ Norah said wistfully.

‘Don’t talk about guilt,’ Poppy complained. ‘This is supposed to be a slacker mums’ club.’

‘Since when?’ Norah asked.

‘Since we’re both slacker mums.’

‘I’m not a slacker, and neither are you,’ Norah said with an eye-roll.

‘Fine, but I’m too busy to take on shit I don’thaveto. Which—by some people’s definition—makes me a slacker,’ Poppy said.

‘OK, OK, my bad,’ Norah said. She paused. ‘Quick question. Would you rather go to a PTA meeting or shit yourself?’

Poppy paused, and Norah wondered if she was being a bit gross. But then Poppy said, ‘PTA. But it’s a close-run thing. You?’

‘I’m fifty-fifty because they have free wine at the PTA. No one gives you free booze if you crap yourself,’ Norah explained.

Poppy's eyes lit up. ‘Free wine? They should lead withthat.’

'You considering it? We could be like those cool, effortless mums who are always organising events and fundraising,' Norah said.

‘I’m cool already. I listen to cool, youthful music like... What do kids listen to?’ Poppy asked.

‘Freddie likes Taylor Swift,’ Norah said evenly.

Poppy sighed. ‘She’s banned in my house.’

‘Why’s that?’ Norah asked, interested.

‘Because I hate her,’ Poppy said flatly.

‘Oh, I thought you were gonna say something more parent-y.’

‘When have you known me to do that?’ Poppy asked, aghast.

‘MUUUUUUM!’ Freddie suddenly said from right next to her, shocking her eardrum.

Norah needed to put a bell on that kid.

‘What’s up, Freds?’ Norah asked.

‘I’m thirsty.’

Norah pulled out his water bottle, and he sucked on it like a baby. He was a very thirsty child. He was like a little steam engine that needed water thrown on the coal at regular intervals, or he was apt to crash.

‘Mum, I need water, too!’ Luna said, running over.

‘Funny coincidence,’ Poppy remarked with a smile at her child, who was soon necking her water.

‘Mummy, did you see my message?’ Freddie asked, still gasping from his mega drink.

‘What message?’

‘I sent it from Dad’s phone before we left.’