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He turns back to me, and I put my hand against his chest. “Wait, stop, please stop,” I gasp, crocodile tears in my eyes. “I…your smell, it reminds me of Kit. Please, have a shower, then…then we can,” I say, forcing my eyes to get wet, feeling disgusting and evil.

He just smellsright.I can imagine him coming home from a day of work and just melting in his presence. I want him. I want him so bad it hurts, but I need to choose duty. You can’t be vulnerable in this universe or you get your heart wrung out until there’s nothing left but a dry husk. The way I want these three, if I’m not their Mate, I’ll never be able to find love. I’ll never be able to imagine anyone more perfect for me than this triad.

Garrick changes instantly. It’s like I snuffed out a candle. I didn’t think it was possible, but it confirms my suspicions. If I was his Mate, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He steps back, and my chest heaves as my heart pounds. Every second feels like an eternity. He tries to say something but he can’t form words.

Tar’ank roars. He lunges forward at me. Garrick and Markrin grab his arms, pulling him back, and my mouth hangs open as I stare at his veins bulging in his muscles as he fights to claim me. If it wasn’t for his triad, he’d be on me, pressing me down against the floor, claiming me with huge, powerful thrusts. He wouldn’t stop until he seeded me.

Why do I want that so much? Why do I want to feel so helpless, so out of control, so vulnerable for the first time in my life?

“I’m sorry for his actions,” says Markrin, but he’s confused. He can smell how badly I want him. His voice isn’t crisp and clear like it used to be. His lips are still drawn back, and he’s fighting his own urges. His mouth is meant for lapping over my body, kissing me, growling in my ear while he fucks me hard.

“Just…I need to be alone right now. Take a shower, please,” I beg, and the two huge Aurelians haul the fierce beasts into the bathroom. They close the door behind them. I hear a thud and the door indents outward from Tar’ank’s fist as they wrestle with the alien lost in the Mating Rage.

“I’ll be waiting outside, I’m just going to put on some music!” I chime, my eyes fixed on the seconds ticking. Twenty seconds to eight.

I fall to the floor as the showers turns on. A shudder runs through me. I’m shocked they managed to hold back. Tar’ank couldn’t. I reduce him to an animal, and he does the same to me. It took every ounce of my willpower to stop myself from giving in to the sweet surrender.

Just step into the bathroom.

I can’t picture them. One of them pressing Tar’ank against the wall, holding him until the Mating Rage passes, the other in the shower, cleaning his body, the water flowing down his perfect body.

I can go to them. I can stop pretending I don’t want this. It goes against everything I believed about myself. I thought I was wild and free, but now all I want is to be by Garrick’s side. To learn what makes the clever Markrin tick, to drive Tar’ank into fits of Mating Rage and let him work out all his rage and aggression on my tiny body.

It was an awful lie that pulled Garrick out of the Mating Rage. I abused his honor.

I had to.

I run my hand over the scan card lifted from his combat pants. If I’m right, it will work for the communal Reavers in the loading bay. We just have to hope there’s a functional one. “AI, play something upbeat,” I command, trying to keep my voice neutral, and two seconds later it puts on a song with what sounds like real guitars.

The audio is scratchy, but it’s loud. Aurelians have a great sense of hearing. I need them to miss the door opening to give me time to escape.

They also have a great sense of smell. The three of them left me soaking wet, and I run my hand between my legs and then against the pillow. I need them to believe I’m still in this room, waiting for them.

One second to eight.

“Get really clean, please!” I yell out over the music, and the doors hiss open. The Aurelians don’t respond. They’re half animal, and their words were slurred when they spoke.

The drumline of the beat and my yell drowns out the sound of the doors opening.

I pause for a second. This is it. The hallway beckons me. Back to my old life. Back to living for each moment, never promised tomorrow. Back to gunfights and space battles and near misses.

I’m petrified, and I don’t know whether to stay with the three men or run back to my old life.

11

Sawoot

Iowe it to Tasha to help her escape. I owe it to my captain and Theme…

No. That’s just an excuse.

If I stay, and I’m not their Fated Mate, I’ll never recover. I’m too scared to stay and take a leap of faith.

I lunge through the doors and look left and right.

No Aurelians are running down the hallways. I half expect alarms and soldiers pilling out to catch me, but Theme’s done his job. If he can shut down the alarms and lock the Aurelians in, I hope he’s able to deactivate the tractor beam, too.

Garrick and his triad might not have heard the doors open, but I bet they’ll hear them close as the huge bolt locks into place.