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Okay, I'm not ready to follow this train of thought. Instead, I focus on the second fact. I pick up the familiar pack of bubble foil. One and a half weeks are missing. He didn't simply know what kind of birth control I'm on; he must have gone into my bathroom and snatched these. And if he were in my bathroom… my eyes move over the assortment of cosmetics… then he knows exactly what kind of face cream I use.

This time, my giggle breaks out into loud laughter. If he had been in my apartment, he could have just taken some of my clothes, my cosmetics, and so on. Nobody would have been any the wiser. Instead, he took meshopping, went shoppingforme while I was asleep, and did all this.

Do I dare let my mind wander to where it wants to go?

I do.

He obviously harbors the same feelings for me as I do for him. He wants to make me happy. He's already proven that by making me feel beautiful, and now, all this. My eyes fill with tears, and I wonder if I can finally dare hope for happiness for myself.

My hand shakes as I unwrap one of the many eye shadow palettes. I barely register the name Natasha Denona, as first one, then two tears fall down on the wrapping, confusing me. I wonder why I'm so damn emotional, but I’m distracted from that thought when bile rises in my throat, and I barely make it to the toilet. As I heave, I keep thinking,This can't be, this can't be.But deep down, I know. I remember Bee, Elli's mom, telling us one morning,Oh, I knew I was pregnant from the morning after I conceived this little angel. I started throwing up and never stopped until I saw her lovely face.

I remember that moment so vividly because of the way she looked at Elli and stroked her daughter’s face. The yearning that shot through my then-fifteen-year-old body and mind for a mom like Bee had been all-consuming. Now, her words hit me again, just in a different way.

Could it be possible?

I've never neededmuch sleep, contrary to Gigi, whom I wake from a deep slumber at one o'clock in the morning. When she hears what I need, though, she is wide awake instantly.

"I'll have it to you in an hour," she promises. Gigi is always excited about spending money; it doesn't even matter if it's for her or someone else, as she's proved before on a similar errand for the very same woman.

"You really like her, don't you?"

Her question catches me off guard, but she's right. I really like Scarlet, so much so that I can see a future with us. A future I've always scoffed at before. A wife? Two point five kids? A family?

I've always wanted it—one day.

It seems that one day is upon me.

"I do," I tell Gigi softly. Scarlet is the one. She will be my wife and the mother of my children. I'm not sure how good a dad I'll make, but I'm positive Scarlet will more than make up for me. I'll try my best, though. It's not like my dad didn't have the same responsibilities as I do, and he still managed to raise Gigi and me, ensuring we knew how much he loved us.

A wave of affection overcomes me for Gigi. "How are you doing?" I see the mask she's about ready to put on and add, "Honestly."

She deflates some. "Honestly? I still miss him like hell." Her eyes fill with tears, making me regret having asked the question. "He was the best dad."

"He was." I agree.

"Remember when he took us to the zoo? It was such a fun day."

It was. Dad had rented the entire zoo for the whole afternoon. It was just him, mom, and us—well, and a plethora of guards. Still, it was one of the best days of my life, and it seems Gigi’s as well.

"He never did anything half-assed," Gigi reminisces.

No, he didn't. For my tenth birthday party, he rented an entire movie theater—not just one room, but the entire theater. For a whole day, my friends and I wandered from one screening room to the other, watching whatever we liked and ordering candy and soda to our heart's content.

He was also hard, though. The day after I turned ten, he took me to the shooting range, and we didn't leave until my hands shook so hard from firing a gun that it became impossible to hit the target. The next day, he brought me back. And the day after that—every day, until every one of my shots hit the target.

It seemed that my tenth birthday brought on the end of my childhood. Dad took me more and more into his office, and my training in several martial arts, boxing, and the gun range increased. He was a relentless taskmaster, but above all, I always knew that he loved me and Gigi. That's what I want to teach our kids—mine and Scarlet's.

I enjoy making money. I enjoy power. Being the Don of my family is what I was born for. But that family—the one I rule, the one that bleeds for me—is different frommyfamily. Scarlet is mine. She just doesn’t fully understand it yet.

I went to her apartment to collect some things for her. At least, that’s what I told myself. But when I opened her closet and saw the state of her wardrobe? Yeah. I’m a fucking snob. Her clothes were okay. Tasteful. Elegant. But they weren’t good enough. They weren't the onesIbought for her. And she deserves so much better, especially after what she’s been through.

There was a moment—a very weak fucking moment—where I nearly walked out, leaving the damn contraceptives sitting on her counter.

Get her pregnant.The thought hit hard. My heart and my dick were fully on board with that scheme. It would tie her to me in the most permanent way possible.

I could’ve done it, too. Could’ve thrown those pills in the trash, acted like I was never there. But Scarlet deserves a choice. She deserves towantto stay with me. Not because I protect her. Not because I own the walls that keep her safe.

But because she wants me.