Page 25

Cotton

I can’t believeshe just whispered that she loved me. I bet she thought I wouldn’t hear her. I didn’t say it back, but I do love her. Have for a long time. I hold her close to me as I think of all the things that we need to get done as a club. We still haven’t found the guys that bid on Saige and Bexley. We still haven’t found Rancor and the guys that got away with him, nor have we found Tonya. For Saige’s sake, I hope that Tonya is okay. Stone said that Rancor had a hold of her arm, so we know he took her with him. And now we need to find Dayna and Matt. This is getting out of hand; I want it all over with. I guess we need to get with Tech in the morning to see if he has found any hints of them. I also want to tell Saige about my past, but I’m so afraid that she will leave me, never to talk to me again. I know that she’ll hate me, andI won’t blame her one bit. It’s with that thought that I fall into a restless sleep.

“Finn! Wake up, Finn!” I come to, squeezing Saige so hard she can barely breathe. I’m panting trying to catch my breath. I loosen up my grip on her. “Are you okay? Finn, you were screaming for Donovan in your sleep.” I run my hand through my hair.

“I’m sorry, baby. Try to go back to sleep,” I tell her.

Saige sits up and looks at me. “Finnick Casey Larsen! Do not do this to me. I told you everything that happened to me, when I was having the nightmares, and they aren’t that bad or come as often anymore. Just knowing that you are here with me, that I can tell you anything, is a huge deal. Let me help you. Please?”

I sigh and sit up, then pull Saige over to sit between my legs, pulling the sheet back over us. I wrap my arms around her, and she holds onto my arms.

“Saige, this isn’t pretty. Cooper knows about how I grew up, and your dad. A few of the older guys too. But it’s because they were the cops that came to the house and found us, and Coop is my best friend, he was there to see a lot of it. You know Donovan was my twin brother. Our parents, ha, if you can call them that, they liked to party. Drugs were more important than we were. Dad liked to use his fists to get his point across, and he did it a lot tonot only me, but Mom and Don until I got big enough to fight back. He was a mean son of a bitch. I had come home from the gym to find Mom bloodied and lying on the floor, she wasn’t moving. Dad had a gun pointed at her and Don. Don was up against the sink, his face swollen, bloody, bruised. I saw red. Dad didn’t hear me come in, but Don saw me and shook his head no. That’s when Dad knew I was there, so he turned towards me. He actually shot Mom as he turned towards me. He said if I made another move Don was next. I stood still and he started laughing. He said I was weak, he wished that they had never had us. He turned to Don again while cocking the gun. I tackled him. The gun went off, and I just stayed on top of him beating him. Taking out every ounce of anger and pain he had ever put us through on him. It took your dad and Cruz to pull me off him. I saw a paramedic working on Don, and I realized that when the gun went off, it hit him in the leg. We were seniors, and he couldn’t play football that year. It destroyed his scholarship, and he blamed me for it. I had killed Dad, wrecked his scholarship, and Mom was gone because of me. I was going into the Marines and shipping out for boot camp. Don stayed with some friends of his. Your dad made sure everything went down as self-defense. But Don, he never really forgave me. He said football was all he had ever wanted, and I took that from him. He even said in the last phone call we had, that he hoped I diedwhile on tour. I only told him I loved him, and he hung up on me. His friend Tate kept me up to date on him, letting me know what was going on. He got into drugs and starting drinking. On top of that he started street racing while high and drunk. I called your dad and told him what I knew, but one night, it all came to a fiery end. Don was high and racing when he lost control of the car. He ran head on into a tree. I may as well have killed my brother that same day as I killed my dad. Cause he surely didn’t live a day after that.” A sob escapes me, and it isn’t until I feel her hands on my face that I realize I am crying or that she has turned in my arms to face me.

“Finn. You didn’t kill your brother. You tried to help him, and you even saved him. I know you were in the Marines, deployed with Coop overseas, so there was nothing you could do about what he was doing. I have loved you since I was fifteen, I’m not going to stop now.”

I pull her closer to me and kiss her. Can she really love me? She says she does, I want, no need to believe her. “Saige, I…thank you. I don’t deserve you.”

“No, you deserve someone better. You keep thinking because you had to kill someone that I’m going to cut and run. You forget that I killed someone too. Lynch was in the crosshairs of that girl that was kidnapping the strippers atthat club we went undercover at. I shot her like it was nothing. I did what I had to do to protect my family. You did the same. You were trying to get Don help. It’s not your fault. I know that there’s more that you don’t want to tell me right now, and that’s okay. But I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. If anyone walks away from us, it’ll have to be you. You need to put the past to rest. I don’t care what you did, or where you come from. I know you. I know your heart.” She presses into me and kisses me.

“I’ll try to think of it your way. I mean I know I didn’t kill him with my hands, but him getting shot because of me, then being put on those painkillers, is what led to the stronger drugs.”

“Finnick, it was his choice to abuse his pills to try to numb not only the pain but his mind. It was also his choice to start the harder stuff. It becomes an addiction, I know, but it starts with a choice. And Don made that choice. You didn’t force him to drink or take whatever it was he was taking. You were overseas. He could have gotten help, his friend that he stayed with could have gotten him help. I know it has to hurt like hell, and I’m so sorry. I wish I could take all the pain from you, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is help you to carry the burden of it, by always being here for you.” Damn, this woman is something else. I hold her to me for a while,just holding her, soaking up her light and love. I actually fall asleep, with her in my arms.

I wakeup to Saige kissing my chin, working her way to my mouth. She is straddling my legs, moaning as she grinds her pussy against me. I pull her closer, holding her with one arm while kissing her. I rub her clit and stick two fingers in her. My God, she is so wet. Saige licks my chin, down my throat, over to the side of my neck, where she sucks on me. She is grinding down on my fingers and I’m hard as hell. “Finn, I need you, please.” She licks down my throat to my chest, and licks my nipple, then bites down on it. Holy shit that feels good! I moan as she does the same to the other, and I lift her up, helping her line up with my dick. I watch as she slowly lowers herself down on me. I have her watch as I suck her juices off my fingers. She sucks a breath in, and starts to slowly move up and down, swiveling her hips. Oh shit! I squeeze her breasts together and suck on both nipples, then run my tongue over them, nipping at them. Biting just enough for it to sting, then lick them again. Saige is getting close, I can feel it, so am I. I grab ahold of her hips and start pumping into her hard. It doesn’t take long until we both are screaming out our orgasms.Saige leans into me, trying to catch her breath. I hold her to me, lift her chin so that I can kiss her.

“Thank you, for loving me,” I tell her. I lay her down beside me and go get a rag to clean us up before I lay back down beside her, pull her close, and fall into a deep sleep.

The next morning, I wake up and Saige isn’t in the room. I see a note on her pillow. I grab it and read

“Finn, you finally got into a deep sleep, and I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be with Loki for a bit, and I’ll see you soon. Thank you for trusting me last night. I love you. Saige.”

Damn this girl is going to be the death of me. Thinking about something that has been on my mind a few days, I make my decision. Smiling to myself, I get up to take a shower. I need to talk to Stone and Tires.

Twenty-Nine

Saige

It’s beena couple of weeks since everything happened at the clubhouse. Loki is spending more time with me again. I know he is worried about me. Not only with what is going on, but he is worried that Cotton will hurt me. I told him Cotton wouldn’t intentionally hurt me. He seems to think that if I stay with Cotton, that we will lose our time together. I tell him it would take death to tear us apart. We are on our way right now to get some ink done. I know what I am going to get. I’m so excited. Loki is talking about the tats he is wanting on his arm. He’s working on a sleeve. I laugh when we get inside, and Leilani grabs me. “Tell your BFF bye for now.” Laughing Loki and I do our, “Bye, BFF, see you later.”

“Not unless I see you first, BFF.” Acer and Leilani laugh. I follow her into her area and give her a hug really quick.

“I have a question for you. Coop and I both have talked about it. You have been the biggest mother influence in our lives, except for Aunt Stella. Would you be okay with us calling you mom or makuahine?”

Leilani bursts into tears, hugging me to her. “Are you sure? I would love for you two to do that, you’re like my own kids.”

“We’re sure. Now dry those tears. I need to see if we can do the tattoo that I want.” She laughs and we work up a stencil of what I want to get done. I get my shirt off so that she can get it on my left ribcage. I can’t wait to show it off.

It’s beena couple days since my tattoo. I haven’t shown it to Cotton yet, he’s been gone on a parts run with Cruz. I haven’t felt to good the last few days either.

We are at the bakery,and I am covered in cake flour. I just dropped a bag and it’s gone everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. Bexley has gotten covered too. Lokiwalks in from the front and when he sees us starts laughing too. “Oh, dear lord. What a mess! Want me to send the two prospects in here to help clean up?”

“Yeah if you will. I need to run to the bathroom,” I say as I take off running. I barely get the door shut and locked before I start throwing up my breakfast and lunch. I’m still dry heaving when there is a knock at the door. “Just a minute,” I call out.

“Saige, are you okay?”

“Yeah, Lok, I’m okay. I’ll be out in just a second.” I splash cold water on my face and clean up. Walking out of the bathroom, Loki is right there, arms crossed with a look of concern on his face. “Really, Loki, I’m okay. Sloane had a stomach bug the other day and missed work, I must’ve caught it from her. Ugh. I can’t ride my bike back home feeling like this. Anyone in a cage that can give me a ride? Sloane and Bexley can handle things for a day or two. We don’t have any special orders.” Putting his arm around my shoulder, he leads me to a chair. He goes to talk to Sloane and let her know that he is taking me home.

She comes into the back and looks at me. “Well you look like I did when I was sick. Oh hun, I’m sorry. Bexley and I have things covered here. Love you.”